In the Wilderness eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 864 pages of information about In the Wilderness.

In the Wilderness eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 864 pages of information about In the Wilderness.

“Yes?”

He looked at her as if he were going to speak, but he said nothing.  He felt that if he answered she would not understand, and her face made him doubtful.  Which view of life was the right one, Rosamund’s or Cynthia Clarke’s?  Rosamund had been pitiless to him and Cynthia Clarke was merciful.  She put her arms round his neck when he was in misery, she wanted him despite the tragedy that was his perpetual companion.  Perhaps her view of life was right.  It was a good working view, anyhow, and was no doubt held by many people.

“We can base our lives on truth,” she continued, as he said nothing.  “On being true to ourselves.  That is the great truth.  But we can’t always tell it to all the casual people about us, or even to those who are closely in our lives, as for instance Jimmy is in mine.  They wouldn’t understand.  But some day Jimmy will be able to understand.”

“Do you mean——­”

“I mean just this:  if Jimmy were twenty-one I would tell him everything.”

He looked down into her eyes, which never fell before the eyes of another.

“I believe you would,” he said.

She continued looking at him, as if tranquilly waiting for something.

“I’ll—­I’ll go back to Buyukderer,” he said.

CHAPTER VII

In his contrition for the attack which he had made upon the honor of his wife at his mother’s instigation, Beadon Clarke had given up all claims on his boy’s time.  Actually, though not legally, Mrs. Clarke had complete control over Jimmy.  He spent all his holidays with her, and seldom saw his father, who was still attached to the British Embassy in Madrid.  He had never been allowed to read any reports of the famous case which had been fought out between his parents, and was understood to think that his father and mother had, for some mysterious reason, found it impossible to “hit it off together,” and had therefore decided to live apart.  He was now rather vaguely fond of his father, whom he considered to be “quite a good sort,” but he was devoted to his mother.  Mrs. Clarke’s peculiar self-possession and remarkably strong will made a great impression on Jimmy.  “It’s jolly difficult to score my mater off, I can tell you,” he occasionally remarked to his more intimate chums at school.  He admired her appearance, her elegance, and the charm of her way of living, which he called “doing herself jolly well”; even her unsmiling face and characteristic lack of what is generally called vivacity won his approval.  “My mater’s above all that silly gushing and giggling so many women go in for, don’t you know,” was his verdict on Mrs. Clarke’s usually serious demeanor.  Into her gravity boyishly he read dignity of character, and in his estimation of her he set her very high.  Although something of a pickle, and by nature rather reckless and inclined to be wild, he was swiftly obedient to his mother, partly perhaps because, understanding young males as well as she understood male beings of all ages, she very seldom drew the reins tight.  He knew very well that she loved him.

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In the Wilderness from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.