I. The Old Woman (A Morality Play)

The Old Woman
(A Morality Play)

Characters: 
The Woman
The House
The Doctor
The Deacon
The Landlady

Doctor: 
There is an old woman
Who ought to die—­

Deacon: 
And nobody knows
But what she’s dead—­

Doctor: 
The air will be cleaner
When she’s gone—­

Deacon: 
But we dare not bury her
Till she’s dead—­

Landlady: 
Come, young doctor
From the first floor front,
Come, dusty deacon,
From the fourth floor back,
You take her heels
And I’ll take her head—­

Doctor and Deacon: 
We’ll carry her
And bury her
If she’s dead!

House: 
They roll her up
In her old, red quilt,
They carry her down
At a horizontal tilt,
She doesn’t say “Yes”
And she doesn’t say “No,”
She doesn’t say, “Gentlemen,
Where do we go?”

Doctor: 
Out in the lot
Where ash-cans die,
There, old woman,
There shall you lie!

Deacon: 
Let’s hurry away
And never look behind
To see if her eyes
Are dead and blind,
To see if the quilt
Lies over her face—­
Perhaps she’ll groan
Or move in her place!

House: 
The room is empty
Where the old woman lay,
And I no longer
Smell like a tomb—­

Landlady: 
Doctor, deacon,
Can you say
Who’ll pay rent
For the old woman’s room?

* * * * * * *

House: 
The room is empty
Down the hall,
There are mice in the closet,
Ghosts in the wall—­
A pretty little lady
Comes to see—­

Woman: 
Oh, what a dark room,
Not for me!

Landlady: 
The room is large
And the rent is low,
There’s a deacon above
And a doctor below—­

Deacon: 
When the little mice squeak
I shall pray—­

Doctor: 
I’ll psycho-analyse
The ghosts away—­

Landlady: 
The bed is large
And the mattress deep,
Wrapped in a feather-bed
You shall sleep—­

Woman: 
But here’s the door
Without a key! 
An unlocked room
Won’t do for me!

Doctor: 
Here’s a bolt—­

Deacon: 
And here’s a bar—­

Landlady: 
You’ll sleep soundly
Where you are!

Woman: 
Good night, gentlemen,
It’s growing late,
Good night, landlady,
Pray don’t wait! 
I’m going to bed,
I’ll bolt the door
And sleep more soundly
Than ever before!

Deacon: 
Good night, madam,
I’ll steal away—­

Doctor: 
Glad a pretty lady
Has come to stay!

House: 
She lights a candle—­
What do I see! 
That cloak looks like
A quilt to me! 
She climbs into bed
Where long she’s lain,
She’s come back home,