as does seem possible, we are in a sort of alliance with Destiny, we have signed no compact, and accomplish our work as solidly and merrily as a wood-hatchet in the hands of the woodman.  This arrangement to give Ipley a little music, was projected as a return for the favours of the morning:  nor have I in my time heard anything comparable to it in charity of sentiment, when I consider the detestable outrage Hillford suffered under.

The parading of the drum, the trombone, a horn, two whistles, and a fife, in front of Hillford booth, caught the fancy of the Clubmen, who roared out parting adjurations that the music was not to be spared; and that Tom Breeks was a musical fellow, with a fine empty pate, if any one of the instruments should fail perchance.  They were to give Ipley plenty of music:  for Ipley wanted to be taught harmony.  Harmony was Ipley’s weak point.  “Gie ’em,” said one jolly ruddy Hillford man, “gie ’em whack fol, lol!” And he smacked himself, and set toward an invisible partner.  Nor, as recent renowned historians have proved, are observations of this nature beneath the dignity of chronicle.  They vindicate, as they localize, the sincerity of Hillford.

Really, to be an islander full of ale, is to be the kindest creature on or off two legs.  For that very reason, it may be, his wrath at bad blood is so easily aroused.  In our hot moods we would desire things like unto ourselves, and object violently to whatsoever is unlike.  And also we desire that the benefits we shed be appreciated.  If Ipley understands neither our music nor our intent, haply we must hold a performance on the impenetrable sconce of Ipley.

At the hour named, the expedition, with many a promise that the music should be sweet, departed hilariously:  Will Burdock, the left-handed cricketer and hard-hitter, being leader; with Peter Bartholomew, potboy, John Girling, miller’s man, and Ned Thewk, gardener’s assistant, for lieutenants.  On the march, silence was proclaimed, and partially enforced, after two fights against authority.  Near the sign of King William’s Head, General Burdock called a halt, and betrayed irresolution with reference to the route to be adopted; but as none of his troop could at all share such a condition of mind in the neighbourhood of an inn, he was permitted to debate peacefully with his lieutenants, while the rest burst through the doors and hailed the landlord:  a proceeding he was quickly induced to imitate.  Thus, when the tail shows strongest decision of purpose, the head must follow.

An accurate oinometer, or method of determining what shall be the condition of the spirit of man according to the degrees of wine or beer in him, were surely of priceless service to us.  For now must we, to be certain of our sanity and dignity, abstain, which is to clip, impoverish, imprison the soul:  or else, taking wings of wine, we go aloft over capes, and islands, and seas, but are even as balloons that cannot make for any line, and are at the mercy of