This discussion was just concluded when Mr. Samuel Byass presented himself—­a slender, large-headed young man, with very light hair cropped close upon the scalp, and a foolish face screwed into an expression of facetiousness.  He was employed in some clerkly capacity at a wholesale stationer’s in City Road.  Having stepped into the room, he removed a very brown silk hat and laid it on a chair, winking the while at Sidney with his right eye; then he removed his overcoat, winking with the left eye.  Thus disembarrassed, he strode gravely to the fireplace, took up the poker, held it in the manner of a weapon upright against his shoulder, and exclaimed in a severe voice, ‘Eyes right!’ Then, converting the poker into a sword, he drew near to Sidney and affected to practise upon him the military cuts, his features distorted into grotesque ferocity.  Finally, assuming the attitude of a juggler, he made an attempt to balance the poker perpendicularly upon his nose, until it fell with a crash, just missing the ornaments on the mantel-piece.  All this time Mrs. Byass shrieked with laughter, with difficulty keeping her chair.

‘Oh, Sam,’ she panted forth, her handkerchief at her eyes, ’what a fool you are!  Do stop, or you’ll kill me!’

Vastly gratified, Samuel advanced with ludicrous gestures towards the visitor, held out his hand, and said with affected nasality, ’How do you do, sir?  It’s some time since I had the pleasure of seeing you, sir.  I hope you have been pretty tolerable.’

‘Isn’t he a fool, Mr. Kirkwood?’ cried the delighted wife.  ’Do just give him a smack on the side of the head, to please me!  Sam, go an’ wash, an’ we’ll have supper.  What do you mean by being so late to-night?’

‘Where’s the infant?’ asked Mr. Byass, thrusting his hands into his waistcoat pockets and peering about the room.  ’Bring forth the infant!  Let a fond parent look upon his child.’

‘Go an’ wash, or I’ll throw something at you.  Baby’s in bed, and mind, you wake him if you dare!’

Sidney would have taken his leave, but found it impossible.  Mrs. Byass declared that if he would not stay to supper he should never enter the house again.

‘Let’s make a night of it!’ cried Sam, standing in the doorway.  ’Let’s have three pots of six ale and a bottle of old Tom!  Let us be reckless!’

His wife caught up the pillow from the sofa and hurled it at him.  Samuel escaped just in time.  The next moment his head was again thrust forward.

’Let’s send to the High Street for three cold roast fowls and a beef-steak pie!  Let’s get custards and cheese-cakes and French pastry!  Let’s have a pine-apple and preserved ginger!  Who says, Go it for once?’

Mrs. Byass caught up the poker and sprang after him.  From the passage came sounds of scuffling and screaming, and in the end of something produced by the lips.  Mrs. Byass then showed a very red face at the door, and said: