What delightful moments these were!  Unfortunately, oh! yes, indeed, unfortunately, he could not press his lathered face to mine!

“Wait a little,” he exclaimed, darting toward the washbasin, full of water, “wait an instant!”

But it seemed as if it took him a week to wash it off.

CHAPTER XV

MY WIFE GOES TO A DANCE

Madame—­Ah! it is so nice of you to come home early! (Looking at the clock.) A quarter to six.  But how cold you are! your hands are frozen; come and sit by the fire. (She puts a log on the fire.) I have been thinking of you all day.  It is cruel to have to go out in such weather.  Have you finished your doubts? are you satisfied?

Monsieur—­Quite well satisfied, dear. (Aside.) But I have never known my wife to be so amiable. (Aloud, taking up the bellows.) Quite well satisfied, and I am very hungry.  Has my darling been good?

Madame—­You are hungry.  Good! (Calling out.) Marie, call into the kitchen that your master wants to dine early.  Let them look after everything—­and send up a lemon.

Monsieur—­A mystery?

Madame—­Yes, Monsieur, I have a little surprise for you, and I fancy that it will delight you.

Monsieur—­Well, what is the surprise?

Madame—­Oh! it is a real surprise.  How curious you look! your eyes are glittering already.  Suppose I were not to tell you anything?

Monsieur—­Then you would vex me very much.

Madame—­There, I don’t want to vex you.  You are going to have some little green oysters and a partridge.  Am I good?

Monsieur—­Oysters and a partridge!  You are an angel. (He kisses her.) An angel. (Aside.) What on earth is the matter with her? (Aloud.) Have you had visitors to-day?

Madame—­I saw Ernestine this morning, but she only stayed a moment.  She has just discharged her maid.  Would you believe it, that girl was seen the night before last dressed up as a man, and in her master’s clothes, too!  That was going too far.

Monsieur—­That comes of having confidential servants.  And you just got a sight of Ernestine?

Madame—­And that was quite enough, too. (With an exclamation.) How stupid I am!  I forgot.  I had a visit from Madame de Lyr as well.

Monsieur—­God bless her!  But does she still laugh on one side of her mouth to hide her black tooth?

Madame-How cruel you are!  Yet, she likes you very well.  Poor woman!  I was really touched by her visit.  She came to remind me that we—­now you will be angry. (She kisses him and sits down beside him.)

Monsieur—­Be angry! be angry!  I’m not a Turk.  Come, what is it?

Madame—­Come, we shall go to dinner.  You know that there are oysters and a partridge.  I won’t tell you—­you are already in a bad temper.  Besides, I all but told her that we are not going.

Monsieur—­(raising his hands aloft)—­I thought so.  She and her evening may go to the dogs.  What have I done to this woman that she should so pester me?