Atfirst Kate merely sat in a pleasant place
and allowed her nerves to settle, after the short
nap she had enjoyed in the rocking chair. It
was such a novel experience for her to sit idle, that
despite the attractions of growing things, running
water, and singing birds, she soon veered to thoughts
of what she would be doing if she were at home, and
that brought her to the fact that she was forbidden
her father’s house; so if she might not go there,
she was homeless. As she had known her father
for nearly nineteen years, for she had a birth anniversary
coming in a few days, she felt positive that he never
would voluntarily see her again, while with his constitution,
he would live for years. She might as well face
the fact that she was homeless; and prepare to pay
her way all the year round. She wondered why
she felt so forlorn and what made the dull ache in
her throat.
She remembered telling Nancy Ellen before going away
to Normal that she wished her father would drive her
from home. Now that was accomplished.
She was away from home, in a place where there was
not one familiar face, object, or plan of life, but
she did not wish for it at all. She devoutly
wished that she were back at home even if she were
preparing supper, in order that Nancy Ellen might
hem towels. She wondered what they were saying:
her mind was crystal clear as to what they were doing.
She wondered if Nancy Ellen would send Adam, 3d,
with a parcel of cut-out sewing for her to work on.
She resolved to sew quickly and with stitches of
machine-like evenness, if it came. She wondered
if Nancy Ellen would be compelled to put off her wedding
and teach the home school in order that it might be
taught by a Bates, as her father had demanded.
She wondered if Nancy Ellen was forced to this uncongenial
task, whether it would sour the wonderful sweetness
developed by her courtship, and make her so provoked
that she would not write or have anything to do with
her. They were nearly the same age; they had
shared rooms, and, until recently, beds, and whatever
life brought them; now Kate lifted her head and ran
her hand against her throat to ease the ache gathering
there more intensely every minute. With eyes
that did not see, she sat staring at the sheer walls
of the ravine as it ran toward the east, where the
water came tumbling and leaping down over stones and
shale bed. When at last she arose she had learned
one lesson, not in the History she carried.
No matter what its disadvantages are, having a home
of any kind is vastly preferable to having none.
And the casualness of people so driven by the demands
of living and money making that they do not take time
even to be slightly courteous and kind, no matter
how objectionable it may be, still that, even that,
is better than their active displeasure. So
she sat brooding and going over and over the summer,
arguing her side of the case, honestly trying to see
theirs, until she was mentally exhausted and still
had accomplished nothing further than arriving at
the conclusion that if Nancy Ellen was forced to postpone
her wedding she would turn against her and influence
Robert Gray in the same feeling.
