CHAPTER VIL

SCHOOLBOYS’ BLUNDERS.

THE blunders of the examined form a fruitful source of amusement for us all, and many comical instances have been published.  The mistakes which are constantly occurring must naturally be innumerable, but only a few of them rise to the dignity of a blunder.  If it be difficult to define a blunder, probably the best illustration of what it is will be found in the answers of the boys under examination.  All classes of blunders may be found among these.  There are those which show confusion of knowledge, and those which exhibit an insight into the heart of the matter while blundering in the form.  Two very good examples occur to one’s mind, but it is to be feared that they owe their origin to some keen spirit of mature years. ``What p 158is Faith?—­The quality by which we are enabled to believe that which we know is untrue.’’ Surely this must have emanated from a wit!  Again, the whole Homeric question is condensed into the following answer:  ``Some people say that the Homeric poems were not written by Homer, but by another man of the same name.’’ If this is a blunder, who would not wish to blunder so?

A large class of schoolboys’ blunders consist in a confusion of words somewhat alike in sound, a confusion that is apt to follow some of us through life. ``Matins’’ has been mixed up with ``pattens,’’ and described as something to wear on the feet.  Nonconformists are said to be persons who cannot form anything, and a tartan is assumed to be an inhabitant of Tartary.  The gods are believed by one boy to live on nectarines, and by another to imbibe ammonia.  The same desire to make an unintelligible word express a meaning which has caused the recognised but absurd spelling of sovereign (more wisely spelt sovran by Milton) shows itself in the form ``Tea-trarck’’ p 159explained as the title of Herod given to him because he invented or was fond of tea.[13] A still finer confusion of ideas is to be found in an answer reported by Miss Graham in the University Correspondent:  ``Esau was a man who wrote fables, and who sold the copyright to a publisher for a bottle of potash.’’

     [13] Cornhill Magazine, June 1888, pp. 619-28.

The following etymological guesses are not so good, but they are worthy of registration.  One boy described a blackguard as ``one who has been a shoeblack,’’ while another thought he was ``a man dressed in black.’’ ``Polite’’ is said to be derived from ``Pole,’’ owing to the affability of the Polish race. ``Heathen’’ means ``covered with heath’’; but this explanation is commonplace when compared with the brilliant guess—­``Heathen, from Latin `haethum,’ faith, and `en,’ not.’’

The boy who explained the meaning of the words fort and fortress must have had rather vague ideas as to masculine and feminine nouns.  He wrote:  ``A fort is a place to put men in, and a fortress a place to put women in.’’ p 160