I have ruined him. I have also ruined Miss Everett’s couzin.
* * * * *
The nurse is still asleep. I think I will enter a hospitle. My career is ended, my Life is blasted.
I reach under the mattress and draw out the picture of him who today I have ruined, compeling him to do manual labor for hours, although unacustomed to it. He is a great actor, and I beleive has a future. But my love for him is dead. Dear Dairy, he decieved me, and that is one thing I cannot forgive.
So now I sit here among my pillows, while the nurse sleeps, and I reflect about many Things. But one speach rings in my ears over and over.
Carter Brooks, on learning about Switzerland, said it in a strange maner, looking at me with inscrutible eyes.
“Switzerland! Why, Bab—I don’t want you to go so far away.”
What did he mean by it?
* * * * *
Dear Dairy, you will have to be burned, I darsay. Perhaps it is as well. I have p o r e d out my H-e-a-r-t——
“Money is the root of all Evil.”
I do not know who said the above famous words, but they are true. I know it but to well. For had I never gone on an Allowence, and been in debt and always worried about the way silk stockings wear out, et cetera, I would be having a much better time. For who can realy enjoy a dress when it is not paid for or only partialy so?
I have decided to write out this story, which is true in every particuler, except here and there the exact words of conversation, and then sell it to a Magazine. I intend to do this for to reasons. First, because I am in Debt, especialy for to tires, and second, because parents will then read it, and learn that it is not possable to make a good appearence, including furs, theater tickets and underwear, for a Thousand Dollars a year, even if one wears plain uncouth things beneath. I think this, too. My mother does not know how much clothes and other things, such as manacuring, cost these days. She merely charges things and my father gets the bills. Nor do I consider it fair to expect me to atend Social Functions and present a good appearence on a small Allowence, when I would often prefer a simple game of tennis or to lie in a hammick, or to converce with some one I am interested in, of the Other Sex.
It was mother who said a Thousand dollars a year and no extras. But I must confess that to me, after ten dollars a month at school, it seemed a large sum. I had but just returned for the summer holadays, and the Familey was having a counsel about me. They always have a counsel when I come home, and mother makes a list, begining with the Dentist.
“I should make it a Thousand,” she said to father. “The child is in shameful condition. She is never still, and she fidgits right through her clothes.”