The Essays of Montaigne — Volume 12 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 88 pages of information about The Essays of Montaigne — Volume 12.

The Essays of Montaigne — Volume 12 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 88 pages of information about The Essays of Montaigne — Volume 12.

          “Ut haberent instruments servitutis et reges.”

     ["That they might have even kings to be their slaves.” 
     —­Livy, xlv. 13.]

’Tis probable that Solyman, whom we have seen make a gift of Hungary and other principalities, had therein more respect to this consideration than to that he was wont to allege, viz., that he was glutted and overcharged with so many monarchies and so much dominion, as his own valour and that of his ancestors had acquired.

CHAPTER XXV

NOT TO COUNTERFEIT BEING SICK

There is an epigram in Martial, and one of the very good ones—­for he has of all sorts—­where he pleasantly tells the story of Caelius, who, to avoid making his court to some great men of Rome, to wait their rising, and to attend them abroad, pretended to have the gout; and the better to colour this anointed his legs, and had them lapped up in a great many swathings, and perfectly counterfeited both the gesture and countenance of a gouty person; till in the end, Fortune did him the kindness to make him one indeed: 

              “Quantum curs potest et ars doloris
               Desiit fingere Caelius podagram.”

["How great is the power of counterfeiting pain:  Caelius has ceased
to feign the gout; he has got it.”—­Martial, Ep., vii. 39, 8.]

I think I have read somewhere in Appian a story like this, of one who to escape the proscriptions of the triumvirs of Rome, and the better to be concealed from the discovery of those who pursued him, having hidden himself in a disguise, would yet add this invention, to counterfeit having but one eye; but when he came to have a little more liberty, and went to take off the plaster he had a great while worn over his eye, he found he had totally lost the sight of it indeed, and that it was absolutely gone.  ’Tis possible that the action of sight was dulled from having been so long without exercise, and that the optic power was wholly retired into the other eye:  for we evidently perceive that the eye we keep shut sends some part of its virtue to its fellow, so that it will swell and grow bigger; and so inaction, with the heat of ligatures and, plasters, might very well have brought some gouty humour upon the counterfeiter in Martial.

Reading in Froissart the vow of a troop of young English gentlemen, to keep their left eyes bound up till they had arrived in France and performed some notable exploit upon us, I have often been tickled with this thought, that it might have befallen them as it did those others, and they might have returned with but an eye a-piece to their mistresses, for whose sakes they had made this ridiculous vow.

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The Essays of Montaigne — Volume 12 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.