share every thought with her and every feeling; he had suffered acutely because, when silence had fallen between them, a remark of hers showed how far their thoughts had travelled apart, and he had rebelled against the unsurmountable wall which seemed to divide every personality from every other.  He found it strangely tragic that he had loved her so madly and now loved her not at all.  Sometimes he hated her.  She was incapable of learning, and the experience of life had taught her nothing.  She was as unmannerly as she had always been.  It revolted Philip to hear the insolence with which she treated the hard-worked servant at the boarding-house.

Presently he considered his own plans.  At the end of his fourth year he would be able to take his examination in midwifery, and a year more would see him qualified.  Then he might manage a journey to Spain.  He wanted to see the pictures which he knew only from photographs; he felt deeply that El Greco held a secret of peculiar moment to him; and he fancied that in Toledo he would surely find it out.  He did not wish to do things grandly, and on a hundred pounds he might live for six months in Spain:  if Macalister put him on to another good thing he could make that easily.  His heart warmed at the thought of those old beautiful cities, and the tawny plains of Castile.  He was convinced that more might be got out of life than offered itself at present, and he thought that in Spain he could live with greater intensity:  it might be possible to practise in one of those old cities, there were a good many foreigners, passing or resident, and he should be able to pick up a living.  But that would be much later; first he must get one or two hospital appointments; they gave experience and made it easy to get jobs afterwards.  He wished to get a berth as ship’s doctor on one of the large tramps that took things leisurely enough for a man to see something of the places at which they stopped.  He wanted to go to the East; and his fancy was rich with pictures of Bangkok and Shanghai, and the ports of Japan:  he pictured to himself palm-trees and skies blue and hot, dark-skinned people, pagodas; the scents of the Orient intoxicated his nostrils.  His heart but with passionate desire for the beauty and the strangeness of the world.

Mildred awoke.

“I do believe I’ve been asleep,” she said.  “Now then, you naughty girl, what have you been doing to yourself?  Her dress was clean yesterday and just look at it now, Philip.”

XCV

When they returned to London Philip began his dressing in the surgical wards.  He was not so much interested in surgery as in medicine, which, a more empirical science, offered greater scope to the imagination.  The work was a little harder than the corresponding work on the medical side.  There was a lecture from nine till ten, when he went into the wards; there wounds had to be dressed, stitches taken out, bandages