Of Human Bondage eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 971 pages of information about Of Human Bondage.

Of Human Bondage eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 971 pages of information about Of Human Bondage.
and made up his mind that he must go to Luard and tell him that the story was an invention.  Though he dreaded humiliation more than anything in the world, he hugged himself for two or three days at the thought of the agonising joy of humiliating himself to the Glory of God.  But he never got any further.  He satisfied his conscience by the more comfortable method of expressing his repentance only to the Almighty.  But he could not understand why he should have been so genuinely affected by the story he was making up.  The tears that flowed down his grubby cheeks were real tears.  Then by some accident of association there occurred to him that scene when Emma had told him of his mother’s death, and, though he could not speak for crying, he had insisted on going in to say good-bye to the Misses Watkin so that they might see his grief and pity him.

XIV

Then a wave of religiosity passed through the school.  Bad language was no longer heard, and the little nastinesses of small boys were looked upon with hostility; the bigger boys, like the lords temporal of the Middle Ages, used the strength of their arms to persuade those weaker than themselves to virtuous courses.

Philip, his restless mind avid for new things, became very devout.  He heard soon that it was possible to join a Bible League, and wrote to London for particulars.  These consisted in a form to be filled up with the applicant’s name, age, and school; a solemn declaration to be signed that he would read a set portion of Holy Scripture every night for a year; and a request for half a crown; this, it was explained, was demanded partly to prove the earnestness of the applicant’s desire to become a member of the League, and partly to cover clerical expenses.  Philip duly sent the papers and the money, and in return received a calendar worth about a penny, on which was set down the appointed passage to be read each day, and a sheet of paper on one side of which was a picture of the Good Shepherd and a lamb, and on the other, decoratively framed in red lines, a short prayer which had to be said before beginning to read.

Every evening he undressed as quickly as possible in order to have time for his task before the gas was put out.  He read industriously, as he read always, without criticism, stories of cruelty, deceit, ingratitude, dishonesty, and low cunning.  Actions which would have excited his horror in the life about him, in the reading passed through his mind without comment, because they were committed under the direct inspiration of God.  The method of the League was to alternate a book of the Old Testament with a book of the New, and one night Philip came across these words of Jesus Christ: 

If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig-tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.

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Of Human Bondage from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.