Mark Twain's Speeches eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 350 pages of information about Mark Twain's Speeches.

Mark Twain's Speeches eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 350 pages of information about Mark Twain's Speeches.

We see the result when American railroad iron is sold so cheap in England that the poorest family can have it.  He has so beguiled that Cabinet of England.

He has been spreading the commerce of this nation, and has depressed English commerce in the same ratio.  This was the principle underlying that anecdote, and the wise men saw it; the principle of give and take —­give one and take ten—­the principle of diplomacy.

ON STANLEY AND LIVINGSTONE

          Mr. Clemens was entertained at dinner by the Whitefriars’ Club,
          London, at the Mitre Tavern, on the evening of August 6, 1872. 
          In reply to the toast in his honor he said: 

Gentlemen,—­I thank you very heartily indeed for this expression of kindness toward me.  What I have done for England and civilization in the arduous affairs which I have engaged in (that is good:  that is so smooth that I will say it again and again)—­what I have done for England and civilization in the arduous part I have performed I have done with a single-hearted devotion and with no hope of reward.  I am proud, I am very proud, that it was reserved for me to find Doctor Livingstone and for Mr. Stanley to get all the credit.  I hunted for that man in Africa all over seventy-five or one hundred parishes, thousands and thousands of miles in the wilds and deserts all over the place, sometimes riding negroes and sometimes travelling by rail.  I didn’t mind the rail or anything else, so that I didn’t come in for the tar and feathers.  I found that man at Ujiji—­a place you may remember if you have ever been there—­and it was a very great satisfaction that I found him just in the nick of time.  I found that poor old man deserted by his niggers and by his geographers, deserted by all of his kind except the gorillas —­dejected, miserable, famishing, absolutely famishing—­but he was eloquent.  Just as I found him he had eaten his last elephant, and he said to me:  “God knows where I shall get another.”  He had nothing to wear except his venerable and honorable naval suit, and nothing to eat but his diary.

But I said to him:  “It is all right; I have discovered you, and Stanley will be here by the four-o’clock train and will discover you officially, and then we will turn to and have a reg’lar good time.”  I said:  “Cheer up, for Stanley has got corn, ammunition, glass beads, hymn-books, whiskey, and everything which the human heart can desire; he has got all kinds of valuables, including telegraph-poles and a few cart-loads of money.  By this time communication has been made with the land of Bibles and civilization, and property will advance.”  And then we surveyed all that country, from Ujiji, through Unanogo and other places, to Unyanyembe.  I mention these names simply for your edification, nothing more—­do not expect it—­particularly as intelligence to the Royal Geographical Society.  And then, having filled up the old man, we were all too full for utterance and departed.  We have since then feasted on honors.

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Mark Twain's Speeches from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.