It is a thing worth doing that is done here.
You have seen the children play. You saw how
little Sally reformed her burglar. She could
reform any burglar. She could reform me.
This is the only school in which can be taught the
highest and most difficult lessons—morals.
In other schools the way of teaching morals is revolting.
Here the children who come in thousands live through
each part.
They are terribly anxious for the villain to get his
bullet, and that I take to be a humane and proper
sentiment. They spend freely the ten cents that
is not saved without a struggle. It comes out
of the candy money, and the money that goes for chewing-gum
and other necessaries of life. They make the
sacrifice freely. This is the only school which
they are sorry to leave.
Mr.
Clemens was one of the speakers at the Lotos Club dinner
to
Governor
Odell, March 24, 1900. The police problem was
referred
to at length.
Let us abolish policemen who carry clubs and revolvers,
and put in a squad of poets armed to the teeth with
poems on Spring and Love. I would be very glad
to serve as commissioner, not because I think I am
especially qualified, but because I am too tired to
work and would like to take a rest.
Howells would go well as my deputy. He is tired
too, and needs a rest badly.
I would start in at once to elevate, purify, and depopulate
the red-light district. I would assign the most
soulful poets to that district, all heavily armed
with their poems. Take Chauncey Depew as a sample.
I would station them on the corners after they had
rounded up all the depraved people of the district
so they could not escape, and then have them read
from their poems to the poor unfortunates. The
plan would be very effective in causing an emigration
of the depraved element.
When Mr. Clemens arrived from
Europe in 1895 one of the first things he
did was to see the dramatization of Pudd’nhead
Wilson. The audience becoming aware
of the fact that Mr. Clemens was in the
house called upon him for a speech.
Never in my life have I been able to make a speech
without preparation, and I assure you that this position
in which I find myself is one totally unexpected.
I have been hemmed in all day by William Dean Howells
and other frivolous persons, and I have been talking
about everything in the world except that of which
speeches are constructed. Then, too, seven days
on the water is not conducive to speech-making.
I will only say that I congratulate Mr. Mayhew; he
has certainly made a delightful play out of my rubbish.
His is a charming gift. Confidentially I have
always had an idea that I was well equipped to write
plays, but I have never encountered a manager who
has agreed with me.
