Book I of this volume occupies a quarter or a third
of the volume, and consists of matter written about
four years ago, but not hitherto published in book
form. It contained errors of judgment and of
fact. I have now corrected these to the best
of my ability and later knowledge.
Book II was written at the beginning of 1903, and
has not until now appeared in any form. In it
my purpose has been to present a character-portrait
of Mrs. Eddy, drawn from her own acts and words solely,
not from hearsay and rumor; and to explain the nature
and scope of her Monarchy, as revealed in the Laws
by which she governs it, and which she wrote herself.
Mark Twain
new York. January, 1907.
“It is the first
time since the dawn-days of Creation that
a Voice has gone crashing
through space with such
placid and complacent
confidence and command.”
CHAPTER I
VIENNA 1899.
This last summer, when I was on my way back to Vienna
from the Appetite-Cure in the mountains, I fell over
a cliff in the twilight, and broke some arms and legs
and one thing or another, and by good luck was found
by some peasants who had lost an ass, and they carried
me to the nearest habitation, which was one of those
large, low, thatch-roofed farm-houses, with apartments
in the garret for the family, and a cunning little
porch under the deep gable decorated with boxes of
bright colored flowers and cats; on the ground floor
a large and light sitting-room, separated from the
milch-cattle apartment by a partition; and in the
front yard rose stately and fine the wealth and pride
of the house, the manure-pile. That sentence
is Germanic, and shows that I am acquiring that sort
of mastery of the art and spirit of the language which
enables a man to travel all day in one sentence without
changing cars.
There was a village a mile away, and a horse doctor
lived there, but there was no surgeon. It seemed
a bad outlook; mine was distinctly a surgery case.
Then it was remembered that a lady from Boston was
summering in that village, and she was a Christian
Science doctor and could cure anything. So she
was sent for. It was night by this time, and
she could not conveniently come, but sent word that
it was no matter, there was no hurry, she would give
me “absent treatment” now, and come in
the morning; meantime she begged me to make myself
tranquil and comfortable and remember that there was
nothing the matter with me. I thought there must
be some mistake.
“Did you tell her I walked off a cliff seventy-five
feet high?”
“Yes.”
“And struck a boulder at the bottom and bounced?”
“Yes.”
“And struck another one and bounced again?”
“Yes.”
“And struck another one and bounced yet again?”
