with the employment: so that when they attempted
to write anything, they uniformly dipped their pens
into the machine containing sand, and having scrawled
over a page as they thought, desiring them to dry it
with sand, would spill half a gallon of ink upon the
paper, and thereby daubing their fingers, would transfer
the ink to their face whenever thy leaned their cheek
upon their hand for greater gravity. As to the
matrons, to prevent an eternal prattle that would
drown all manner of intelligibility, I found it absolutely
necessary to sew up their mouths; so that between
the blind judges and the dumb matrons methought the
trial had a chance of being terminated sooner than
it otherwise would. The matrons, instead of their
tongues, had other instruments to convey their ideas:
each of them had three quizzes, one quiz pendent from
the string that sewed up her mouth, and another quiz
in either hand. When she wished to express her
negative, she darted and recoiled the quizzes in her
right and left hand; and when she desired to express
her affirmative, she, nodding, made the quiz pendent
from her mouth flow down and recoil again. The
trial proceeded in this manner for a long time, to
the admiration of the whole empire, when at length
I thought proper to send to my old friend and ally,
Prester John, entreating him to forward to me one
of the species of wild and curious birds found in
his kingdom, called a Wauwau. This creature was
brought over the great bridge before mentioned, from
the interior of Africa, by a balloon. The balloon
was placed upon the bridge, extending over the parapets
on each side, with great wings or oars to assist its
velocity, and under the balloon was placed pendant
a kind of boat, in which were the persons to manage
the steerage of the machine, and protect Wauwau.
This oracular bird, arriving in England, instantly
darted through one of the windows of the great hall,
and perched upon the canopy in the centre to the admiration
of all present. Her cackling appeared quite prophetic
and oracular; and the first question proposed to her
by the unanimous consent of the matrons and judges
was, Whether or not the moon was composed of green
cheese? The solution of this question was deemed
absolutely necessary before they could proceed farther
on the trial.
Wauwau seemed in figure not very much differing from a swan, except that the neck was not near so long, and she stood after an admirable fashion like to Vestris. She began cackling most sonorously, and the whole assembly agreed that it was absolutely necessary to catch her, and having her in their immediate possession, nothing more would be requisite for the termination of this litigated affair. For this purpose the whole house rose up to catch her, and approached in tumult, the judges brandishing their pens, and shaking their big wigs, and the matrons quizzing as much as possible in every direction, which very much startled Wauwau, who, clapping her wings, instantly flew out