Mark Twain, a Biography. Complete eBook

Albert Bigelow Paine
This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,890 pages of information about Mark Twain, a Biography. Complete.

Mark Twain, a Biography. Complete eBook

Albert Bigelow Paine
This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,890 pages of information about Mark Twain, a Biography. Complete.

    “Yes,” he said, “those are the great evidences; no one who reasons
    can doubt them.”

    And presently he added: 

“That is a most amusing book of White’s.  When you read it you see how those old theologians never reasoned at all.  White tells of an old bishop who figured out that God created the world in an instant on a certain day in October exactly so many years before Christ, and proved it.  And I knew a preacher myself once who declared that the fossils in the rocks proved nothing as to the age of the world.  He said that God could create the rocks with those fossils in them for ornaments if He wanted to.  Why, it takes twenty years to build a little island in the Mississippi River, and that man actually believed that God created the whole world and all that’s in it in six days.  White tells of another bishop who gave two new reasons for thunder; one being that God wanted to show the world His power, and another that He wished to frighten sinners to repent.  Now consider the proportions of that conception, even in the pettiest way you can think of it.  Consider the idea of God thinking of all that.  Consider the President of the United States wanting to impress the flies and fleas and mosquitoes, getting up on the dome of the Capitol and beating a bass-drum and setting off red fire.”

He followed the theme a little further, then we made our way slowly back up the long hill, he holding to my arm, and resting here and there, but arriving at the house seemingly fresh and ready for billiards.

    June 23.  I came up this morning with a basket of strawberries.  He
    was walking up and down, looking like an ancient Roman.  He said: 

    “Consider the case of Elsie Sigel—­[Granddaughter of Gen. Franz
    Sigel.  She was mysteriously murdered while engaged in settlement
    work among the Chinese.]—­what a ghastly ending to any life!”

    Then turning upon me fiercely, he continued: 

“Anybody that knows anything knows that there was not a single life that was ever lived that was worth living.  Not a single child ever begotten that the begetting of it was not a crime.  Suppose a community of people to be living on the slope of a volcano, directly under the crater and in the path of lava-flow; that volcano has been breaking out right along for ages and is certain to break out again.  They do not know when it will break out, but they know it will do it—­that much can be counted on.  Suppose those people go to a community in a far neighborhood and say, ’We’d like to change places with you.  Come take our homes and let us have yours.’  Those people would say, ’Never mind, we are not interested in your country.  We know what has happened there, and what will happen again.’  We don’t care to live under the blow that is likely to fall at any moment; and yet every time we bring a child into the world we are bringing it to a country,
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Mark Twain, a Biography. Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.