I was truly in love with Esther, for my sentiment for her was composed of sweeter, calmer, and more lively feelings than mere sensual love, which is ever stormy and violent.  I felt sure I could persuade her to marry me without my first teaching her what could not be taught.  I was sorry I had not let her think herself as clever as myself in the cabala, and I feared it would be impossible to undeceive her without exciting her to anger, which would cast out love.  Nevertheless, Esther was the only woman who would make me forget Manon, whom I began to think unworthy of all I had proposed doing for her.

M. d’O——­ came back and I went to dine with him.  He was pleased to hear that his daughter had effected a complete cure by spending a day with me.  When we were alone he told me that he had heard at the Hague that the Comte St. Germain had the art of making diamonds which only differed from the real ones in weight, and which, according to him, would make his fortune.  M. d’O——­ would have been amused if I had told him all I knew about this charlatan.

Next day I took Esther to the concert, and while we were there she told me that on the day following she would not leave her room, so that we could talk about getting married without fear of interruption.  This was the last day of the year 1759.

CHAPTER XI

I Undeceive Esther—­I set out for Germany—­Adventure Near Cologne—­The
Burgomaster’s Wife; My Conquest of Her—­Ball at Bonn—­Welcome From the
Elector of Cologne—­Breakfast at Bruhl—­First Intimacy—­I sup Without
Being Asked at General Kettler’s I am Happy—­I Leave Cologne—­The Toscani
The Jewel My Arrival at Stuttgart

The appointment which Esther had made with me would probably have serious results; and I felt it due to my honour not to deceive her any longer, even were it to cost me my happiness; however, I had some hope that all would turn out well.

I found her in bed, and she told me that she intended to stop there throughout the day.  I approved, for in bed I thought her ravishing.

“We will set to work,” said she; and her governess set a little table by her bed, and she gave me a piece of paper covered with questions tending to convince me that before I married her I should communicate to her my supposed science.  All these questions were artfully conceived, all were so worded as to force the oracle to order me to satisfy her, or to definitely forbid my doing so.  I saw the snare, and all my thoughts were how to avoid it, though I pretended to be merely considering the questions.  I could not make the oracle speak to please Esther, and I could still less make it pronounce a positive prohibition, as I feared that she would resent such an answer bitterly and revenge herself on me.  Nevertheless, I had to assume an indifferent air, and I got myself out of the difficulty by equivocal answers, till the good-humoured papa came to summon me to dinner.