“Can you tell me, little one——­” he said, laying his hand on her head.

“Chuck it!” said the little girl.

“No, no!” responded Mr. Lavender, deeply hurt.  “Can you tell me where I can find the Minister?”

“’Ave you an appointment?

“No; but I wrote to him.  He should expect me.”

“Wot nyme?”

“John Lavender.  Here is my card.”

“I’ll tyke it in.  Wyte ’ere!”

“Wonderful!” mused Mr. Lavender; “the patriotic impulse already stirring in these little hearts!  What was the stanza of that patriotic poet?

     “’Lives not a babe who shall not feel the pulse
     Of Britain’s need beat wild in Britain’s wrist. 
     And, sacrificial, in the world’s convulse
     Put up its lips to be by Britain kissed.’

“So young to bring their lives to the service of the country!”

“Come on,” said the little girl, reappearing suddenly; “e’ll see you.”

Mr. Lavender entered a room which had a considerable resemblance to the office of a lawyer save for the absence of tomes.  It seemed furnished almost exclusively by the Minister, who sat with knees crossed, in a pair of large round tortoiseshell spectacles, which did not, however, veil the keenness of his eyes.  He was a man with close cropped grey hair, a broad, yellow, clean-shaven face, and thrusting grey eyes.

“Mr. Lavender,” he said, in a raw, forcible voice; “sit down, will you?”

“I wrote to you,” began our hero, “expressing the wish to offer myself as a speaker.”

“Ah!” said the Minister.  “Let’s see—­Lavender, Lavender.  Here’s your letter.”  And extracting a letter from a file he read it, avoiding with difficulty his tortoise-shell spectacles.  “You want to stump the country?  M.A., Barrister, and Fellow of the Zoological.  Are you a good speaker?”

“If zeal—–­” began Mr. Lavender.

“That’s it; spark!  We’re out to win this war, sir.”

“Quite so,” began Mr. Lavender.  “If devotion——­”

“You’ll have to use gas,” said the Minister; and we don’t pay.”

“Pay!” cried Mr. Lavender with horror; “no, indeed!”

The Minister bent on him a shrewd glance.

“What’s your line?  Anything particular, or just general patriotism?  I recommend that; but you’ll have to put some punch into it, you know.”

“I have studied all the great orators of the war, sir,” said Mr. Lavender, “and am familiar with all the great writers on, it.  I should form myself on them; and if enthusiasm——­”

“Quite!” said the Minister.  “If you want any atrocities we can give you them.  No facts and no figures; just general pat.”

“I shall endeavour——­” began Mr. Lavender.

“Well, good-bye,” said the Minister, rising.  “When do you start?”

Mr. Lavender rose too.  “To-morrow,” he said, “if I can get inflated.”

The Minister rang a bell.