Burlesques eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 581 pages of information about Burlesques.

Burlesques eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 581 pages of information about Burlesques.

All the late prelate’s wives had fortunes, which the admirable man increased by thrift, the judicious sale of leases which fell in during his episcopacy, &c.  He left three hundred thousand pounds—­divided between his nephew and niece—­not a greater sum than has been left by several deceased Irish prelates.

What Lord Southdown has done with his share we are not called upon to state.  He has composed an epitaph to the Martyr of Bullocksmithy, which does him infinite credit.  But we are happy to state that Lady Angelina Silvertop presented five hundred pounds to her faithful and affectionate servant, Mary Ann Hoggins, on her marriage with Mr. James Plush, to whom her Ladyship also made a handsome present—­namely, the lease, good-will, and fixtures of the “Wheel of Fortune” public-house, near Shepherd’s Market, May Fair:  a house greatly frequented by all the nobility’s footmen, doing a genteel stroke of business in the neighborhood, and where, as we have heard, the “Butlers’ Club” is held.

Here Mr. Plush lives happy in a blooming and interesting wife:  reconciled to a middle sphere of life, as he was to a humbler and a higher one before.  He has shaved off his whiskers, and accommodates himself to an apron with perfect good humor.  A gentleman connected with this establishment dined at the “Wheel of Fortune” the other day, and collected the above particulars.  Mr. Plush blushed rather, as he brought in the first dish, and told his story very modestly over a pint of excellent port.  He had only one thing in life to complain of, he said—­that a witless version of his adventures had been produced at the Princess’s theatre, “without with your leaf or by your leaf,” as he expressed it.  “Has for the rest,” the worthy fellow said, “I’m appy—­praps betwixt you and me I’m in my proper spear.  I enjy my glass of beer or port (with your elth & my suvvice to you, sir,) quite as much as my clarrit in my prawsprus days.  I’ve a good busniss, which is likely to be better.  If a man can’t be appy with such a wife as my Mary Hann, he’s a beest:  and when a christening takes place in our famly, will you give my complments to Mr. Punch, and ask him to be godfather.”

LETTERS OF JEAMES.

JEAMES ON TIME BARGINGS.

“Peraps at this present momink of Railway Hagetation and unsafety the follying little istory of a young friend of mine may hact as an olesome warning to hother week and hirresolute young gents.

“Young Frederick Timmins was the horphan son of a respectable cludgyman in the West of Hengland.  Hadopted by his uncle, Colonel T——­, of the Hoss-Mareens, and regardless of expence, this young man was sent to Heaton Collidge, and subsiquintly to Hoxford, where he was very nearly being Senior Rangler.  He came to London to study for the lor.  His prospix was bright indead; and he lived in a secknd flore in Jerming Street, having a ginteal inkum of two hundred lbs. per hannum.

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Burlesques from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.