The Prophet of Berkeley Square eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 313 pages of information about The Prophet of Berkeley Square.

“Stop; sending boy messenger with full explanation; severe accident last night, injured head, so unable look for crab, grandmother and scorpion.—­Vivian.”

“Astounded, upset, Madame says not conduct gentleman; might have seen crab, grandmother and scorpion with injured head; mere excuse—­caput mortuus decrepitum cancer.—­Sagittarius.”

“Pray excuse; look to-night without fail; Heaven’s sake cease writing; grandmother and whole square amazement, confusion; shall go mad if continues.—­Vivian.”

“Very well, but insist on full letter; confidence in oath much shaken; wires most shifty; gross neglect of crab, grandmother and scorpion.—­Sagittarius.”

“Homo miserum sed magnum est veritatus et praevalebetur.—­Madame Sagittarius.”



“Assure the Lord Chancellor that the last boy has been and gone—­gone away, that is, Mr. Ferdinand, and that I pledge my sacred word not to have another telegram to-day.”

“Yes, sir.  His lordship desired that you should be informed that, according to the law regulating public abominations and intolerable street noises, you was liable to—­”

“I know, I know.”

“And that, by the Act dealing with gross offences against the public order and scandalous crimes against the peace of metropolitan communities, you was amenable—­”

“Exactly.  Go to his lordship and swear—­”

“I couldn’t do that so soon again, sir, really.  I swore only as short ago as yesterday, sir, by your express order, but—­”

“I mean asseverate to his lordship that the very last boy has knocked for the very last time.”

“It wasn’t so much the knocking, sir, his lordship complained of, as the boys coming to the door meeting the boys going away from it, and blocking up the pavement, sir, so that no one could get past and—­”

“Yes, yes.  Go and asseverate at once, Mr. Ferdinand.”

“Very well, sir.  And Her Grace, the Duchess of Camberwell, who is passing from one fit to another, sir, from fright at the uproar and telegrams going to the wrong house, sir?”

“Implore Her Grace to have courage and to trust me as a gentleman when I promise solemnly that the knocking shall not be renewed.”

“Very well, sir.”

“Mr. Ferdinand!”


“Have the knockers swathed in cotton-wool at once.”

“Yes, sir.”

“And—­fix a bulletin on the door.  Wait!  I’ll write it.”

The Prophet hastened to his writing table and, with a hand that trembled violently, wrote on a card as follows:—­

“Owner of this house seriously ill, pray do not knock or death shall certainly ensue.”

“There!  Poor grannie will have peace now.  Nail that up, Mr. Ferdinand, under the cotton-wool.”

“Very well, sir.  Mrs. Merillia, sir, would be glad to speak to you for a moment.  You remember I informed you?”

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The Prophet of Berkeley Square from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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