“WANTED — The advertisers, being
about to commence extensive business operations in
this city, will require the services of three or four
intelligent and competent clerks, to whom a liberal
salary will be paid. The very best recommendations,
not so much for capacity, as for integrity, will be
expected. Indeed, as the duties to be performed
involve high responsibilities, and large amounts of
money must necessarily pass through the hands of those
engaged, it is deemed advisable to demand a deposit
of fifty dollars from each clerk employed. No
person need apply, therefore, who is not prepared to
leave this sum in the possession of the advertisers,
and who cannot furnish the most satisfactory testimonials
of morality. Young gentlemen piously inclined
will be preferred. Application should be made
between the hours of ten and eleven A. M., and four
and five P. M., of Messrs.
“Bogs, Hogs Logs, Frogs & Co.,
“No. 110 Dog Street”
By the thirty-first day of the month, this advertisement
has brought to the office of Messrs. Bogs, Hogs, Logs,
Frogs, and Company, some fifteen or twenty young gentlemen
piously inclined. But our man of business is
in no hurry to conclude a contract with any —
no man of business is ever precipitate —
and it is not until the most rigid catechism in respect
to the piety of each young gentleman’s inclination,
that his services are engaged and his fifty dollars
receipted for, just by way of proper precaution, on
the part of the respectable firm of Bogs, Hogs, Logs,
Frogs, and Company. On the morning of the first
day of the next month, the landlady does not present
her bill, according to promise — a piece
of neglect for which the comfortable head of the house
ending in ogs would no doubt have chided her severely,
could he have been prevailed upon to remain in town
a day or two for that purpose.
As it is, the constables have had a sad time of it,
running hither and thither, and all they can do is
to declare the man of business most emphatically,
a “hen knee high” — by which
some persons imagine them to imply that, in fact,
he is n. e. i. — by which again the very
classical phrase non est inventus, is supposed to be
understood. In the meantime the young gentlemen,
one and all, are somewhat less piously inclined than
before, while the landlady purchases a shilling’s
worth of the Indian rubber, and very carefully obliterates
the pencil memorandum that some fool has made in her
great family Bible, on the broad margin of the Proverbs
of Solomon.
~~~ End of Text ~~~
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AN EXTRAVAGANZA.
