“That’s so,” his partner declared.
“We knew you wouldn’t be satisfied, anyway,
Florence. Didn’t we, Henry?”
“I should say we did!”
“Yes, sir!” said Herbert. “Right
when we were havin’ the worst time tryin’
to print it and make out some o’ the words, I
said right then we were just throwing away our time.
I said, ’What’s the use? That ole
girl’s bound to raise Cain anyhow, so what’s
the use wastin’ a whole lot of our good time
and brains like this, just to suit her?
Whatever we do, she’s certain to come over and
insult us.’ Isn’t that what I said,
Henry?”
“Yes, it is; and I said then you were right,
and you are right!”
“Cert’nly I am,” said Herbert.
“Didn’t I tell you she’d be just
the way some the family say she is? A good many
of ’em say she’d find fault with the undertaker
at her own funeral. That’s just exactly
what I said!”
“Oh, you did?” Florence burlesqued a polite
interest. “How virry considerate
of you! Then, perhaps you’ll try to be a
gentleman enough for one simple moment to allow me
to tell you my last remarks on this subject.
I’ve said enough——”
“Oh, have you?” Herbert interrupted
with violent sarcasm. “Oh, no! Say
not so! Florence, say not so!”
At this, Henry Rooter loudly shouted with applausive
hilarity; whereupon Herbert, rather surprised at his
own effectiveness, naturally repeated his waggery.
“Say not so, Florence! Say not so!
Say not so!”
“I’ll tell you one thing!” his lady
cousin cried, thoroughly infuriated. “I
wish to make just one last simple remark that I would
care to soil myself with in your respects,
Mister Herbert Illingsworth Atwater and Mister Henry
Rooter!”
“Oh, say not so, Florence!” they both
entreated. “Say not so! Say not so!”
“I’ll just simply state the simple truth,”
Florence announced. “In the first place,
you’re goin’ to live to see the day when
you’ll come and beg me on your bented knees
to have me put poems or anything I want to in your
ole newspaper, but I’ll just laugh at
you! ‘Indeed?’ I’ll say!
‘So you come beggin’ around me,
do you? Ha, ha!’ I’ll say! ’I
guess it’s a little too late for that! Why,
I wouldn’t——’”
“Oh, say not so, Florence! Say not so!”
“‘Me to allow you to have one of
my poems?’ I’ll say, ’Much less than
that!’ I’ll say, ’because
even if I was wearing the oldest shoes I got in the
world I wouldn’t take the trouble to——’”
Her conclusion was drowned out. “Oh, Florence,
say not so! Say not so, Florence! Say not
so!”
