The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D. - Volume 07 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 407 pages of information about The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D..

The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D. - Volume 07 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 407 pages of information about The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D..

As to her person she is tall and lean, and very ill shaped; she hath bad features, and a worse complexion; she hath a stinking breath, and twenty ill smells about her besides; which are yet more insufferable by her natural sluttishness; for she is always lousy, and never without the itch.  As to other qualities, she hath no reputation either for virtue, honesty, truth, or manners; and it is no wonder, considering what her education hath been.  Scolding and cursing are her common conversation.  To sum up all; she is poor and beggarly, and gets a sorry maintenance by pilfering wherever she comes.  As for this gentleman who is now so fond of her, she still beareth him an invincible hatred; revileth him to his face, and raileth at him in all companies.  Her house is frequented by a company of rogues and thieves, and pickpockets, whom she encourageth to rob his hen-roosts, steal his corn and cattle, and do him all manner of mischief.[62] She hath been known to come at the head of these rascals, and beat her lover until he was sore from head to foot, and then force him to pay for the trouble she was at.  Once, attended with a crew of ragamuffins, she broke into his house, turned all things topsy-turvy, and then set it on fire.  At the same time she told so many lies among his servants, that it set them all by the ears, and his poor Steward was knocked on the head;[63] for which I think, and so doth all the Country, that she ought to be answerable.  To conclude her character; she is of a different religion, being a Presbyterian of the most rank and virulent kind, and consequently having an inveterate hatred to the Church; yet, I am sure, I have been always told, that in marriage there ought to be an union of minds as well as of persons.

I will now give my own character, and shall do it in few words, and with modesty and truth.

I was reckoned to be as handsome as any in our neighbourhood, until I became pale and thin with grief and ill usage.  I am still fair enough, and have, I think, no very ill feature about me.  They that see me now will hardly allow me ever to have had any great share of beauty; for besides being so much altered, I go always mobbed and in an undress, as well out of neglect, as indeed for want of clothes to appear in.  I might add to all this, that I was born to a good estate, although it now turneth to little account under the oppressions I endure, and hath been the true cause of all my misfortunes.[64]

Some years ago, this gentleman taking a fancy either to my person or fortune, made his addresses to me; which, being then young and foolish, I too readily admitted; he seemed to use me with so much tenderness, and his conversation was so very engaging, that all my constancy and virtue were too soon overcome; and, to dwell no longer upon a theme that causeth such bitter reflections, I must confess with shame, that I was undone by the common arts practised upon all easy credulous virgins, half by force, and half by

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The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D. - Volume 07 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.