The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D. - Volume 07 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 407 pages of information about The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D..

The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D. - Volume 07 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 407 pages of information about The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D..

The medicinal use of oaths is what the undertaker would by no means discourage, especially where it is necessary to help the lungs to throw off any distilling humour.  On certificate of a course of swearing prescribed by any physician, a permit will be given to the patient by the proper officer of the bank, paying no more but sixpence.  It is expected, that a scheme of so much advantage to the public will meet with more encouragement than their chimerical banks; and the undertaker hopes, that as he has spent a considerable fortune in bringing this scheme to bear, he may have the satisfaction to see it take place, for the public good, though he should have the fate of most projectors, to be undone.

It is resolved, that no compositions shall be made, nor licences granted for swearing, under a notion of applying the money to pious uses; a practice so scandalous as is fit only for the see of Rome, where the money arising from whoring licences is applied ad propagandam fidem:  And to the shame of Smock-alley, and of all Protestant whores, (especially those who live under the light of the Gospel-ministry) be it spoken, a whore in Rome never lies down, but she hopes it will be the means of converting some poor heathen, or heretic.

The swearing revenues of the town of Cork will be given for ever, by the bank, to the support of poor clergymen’s widows; and those of Ringsend will be allowed to the maintenance of sailors’ bastards.

The undertaker designs, in a few days, to appoint time and place for taking subscriptions; the subscribers must come prepared to pay down one fourth, on subscribing.

POSTSCRIPT.

The Jews of Rotterdam have offered to farm the revenues of Dublin at twenty thousand pounds per ann. Several eminent Quakers are also willing to take them at that rent; but the undertaker has rejected their proposals, being resolved to deal with none but Christians.

Application may be made to him about them, any day at Pat’s coffee-house, where attendance will be given.

A LETTER

TO THE

KING AT ARMS.

[FROM A REPUTED ESQUIRE,[27] ONE OF THE SUBSCRIBERS TO THE BANK.]

November 18, 1721.

SIR,

In a late printed paper,[28] containing some notes and queries upon that list of the subscribers’ names, which was published by order of the commissioners for receiving of subscriptions, I find some hints and innuendoes that would seem to insinuate, as if I and some others were only reputed esquires; and our case is referred to you, in your kingly capacity.  I desire you will please to let me know the lowest price of a real esquire’s coat of arms:  And, if we can agree, I will give my bond to pay you out of the first interest I receive for my subscription; because things are a little low with me at present, by throwing my whole fortune into the bank, having subscribed for five hundred pounds sterling.

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The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D. - Volume 07 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.