The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D. - Volume 07 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 407 pages of information about The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D..

The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D. - Volume 07 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 407 pages of information about The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D..

These computations are very modest, since it is evident that there is a much greater consumption of oaths in this kingdom, and consequently a much greater sum might be yearly raised.

That it may be collected with ease and regularity, it is proposed to settle informers in great towns in proportion to the number of inhabitants, and to have riding-officers in the country; and since nothing brings a greater contempt on any profession than poverty, it is determined to settle very handsome salaries on the gentlemen that are employed by the bank, that they may, by a generosity of living, reconcile men to an office, that has lain under so much scandal of late, as to be undertaken by none but curates, clerks of meeting-houses, and broken tradesmen.

It is resolved, that none shall be preferred to those employments, but persons that are notorious for being constant churchmen, and frequent communicants; whose piety will be a sufficient security for their honest and industrious execution of their office.

It is very probable, that twenty thousand pounds will be necessary to defray all expenses of servants salaries, &c.  However, there will be the clear yearly sum of one hundred thousand pounds, which may very justly claim a million subscription.

It is determined to lay out the remaining unapplied profits, which will be very considerable, towards the erecting and maintaining charity schools; a design so beneficial to the public, and especially to the Protestant interest of this kingdom, has met with so much encouragement from several great patriots in England, that they have engaged to procure an act to secure the sole benefit of informing, on this swearing act, to the agents and servants of this new bank.  Several of my friends pretend to demonstrate, that this bank will in time vie with the South Sea Company:  They insist, that the army dispend as many oaths yearly as will produce one hundred thousand pounds net.

There are computed to be one hundred pretty fellows in this town, that swear fifty oaths a head daily; some of them would think it hard to be stinted to an hundred:  This very branch would produce a vast sum yearly.

The fairs of this kingdom will bring in a vast revenue; the oaths of a little Connaught one, as well as they could be numbered by two persons, amounted to three thousand.  It is true, that it would be impossible to turn all of them into ready money; for a shilling is so great a duty on swearing, that if it was carefully exacted, the common people might as well pretend to drink wine as to swear; and an oath would be as rare among them as a clean shirt.

A servant that I employed to accompany the militia their last muster day, had scored down in the compass of eight hours, three hundred oaths, but as the putting the act in execution on those days, would only fill the stocks with porters, and pawn-shops with muskets and swords:  And as it would be matter of great joy to Papists, and disaffected persons, to see our militia swear themselves out of their guns and swords, it is resolved, that no advantage shall be taken of any militiaman’s swearing while he is under arms; nor shall any advantage be taken of any man’s swearing in the Four Courts provided he is at hearing in the exchequer, or has just paid off an attorney’s bill.

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The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D. - Volume 07 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.