“Is he tormented wi’ owt?”

“Nowt but his conscience.”

“Ha’s that?”

“He hadn’t one when he coom, soa he’s had to tak one at’s been left bi somdy else, an’ it pricks him sadly.”

“Then it seems his brass willn’t save him?”

“Noa, for yo know, ’Wi whatsoever metre yo measure, to yo it’ll be measured agean.”

“Is ther owt to ait an’ drink i’ yor quarter?”

“Noa, they’ve shut all th’ shops up, an’ it’s time they shut thine up, for aw’m stall’d o’ tawkin to thi?”

Aw wor baan to ax him summat else, but he began to wriggle agean, an’ th’ cheerman sed th’ sperit wor takkin its departure, an’ in a minute he oppened his een, an luk’d raand as sackless as if he had nobbut just wakken’d.  “Nah, my dear friend,” sed th’ cheerman, turnin an’ spaikin to me, “aw hooap yo’re satisfied.  Does ta believe i’ what this sperit has communicated?”

“Well,” aw says, “to tell the th’ truth, aw can’t say ’at aw awther believe in it or net, for aw’ve noa proof, but if aw sed owt aw should be inclined to say ‘net’—­but still it saands varry likely what one might expect, an’ that’s all aw can say abaat it at present.”

“Be sure tha comes to awr meetin next Sundy,” he sed, “an’ aw can see ’at tha’ll sooin be one on us.”  An’ for that reason aw niver went agean, for aw couldn’t help thinkin ’at if aw wanted to be a medium for sperits, ’at awd rayther get a owd licensed haase an’ start reight.

Wol this had been gooin on, awd heeard a chap an’ his wife, ’at sat cloise to me, talkin a gooid deal, an’ aw varry sooin fan aght ’at shoo wor tryin to mak him believe as mich i’ sperits as shoo did, an’ ivery time th’ medium answered one o’ my questions shoo nudged him, an’ sed “Does ta hear that?  Its ivery word as true as gospel?  Does ta believe it nah?” After shoo’d axed him two or three times, he sed, “Well, its varry wonderful, an’ aw do begin to think ’at there’s summat in it.”  “A’a!” shoo sed, “aw knew tha’d believe if aw could get thi to come.”  It wor Sawney’s turn next to be entranced, as they call it, an’ as sooin as th’ sperit had takken possession on him (which seemed to be a varry hard task, an’ aw dooant know wether it went in at his maath or whear), this woman ‘at set aside o’ me jumped up an’ axed if shoo mud be allowed to put a few questions.

Th’ cheerman sed shoo mud an’ welcome, soa shoo began—­

“Ha old am aw?”—­“Fifty-two.”

“Am aw married or single?”—­“Married.”

“Ha monny childer have aw?”—­“Four.”

“Nah,” shoo says, turning to her husband, “isn’t it true?”

“Yos, its true enuff,” he sed, “aw believe there’s summat in it, but aw should like to ax a question or two misen.”

“Why, jump up, then, an’ luk sharp an’ start,” shoo sed.

So he started—­

“Ha old am aw?”—­“Fifty-three.”

“Nah then! didn’t aw tell thi! does ta believe it nah?” shoo sed.