JOSIAH ALLEN’S WIFE
ILLUSTRATED by Baron C. De Grimm
PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES
Funk & WAGNALLS company
London and Toronto
Copyright, 1893, by the
Funk & WAGNALLS company.
[Registered at Stationer’s Hall, London, England.]
Who has jest sailed out and
woman. And to the sect discovered—
THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED.
It wuz a beautiful evenin’ in Jonesville, and the World. The Earth wuz a-settin’ peaceful and serene under the glowin’ light of a full moon and some stars, and I sot jest as peaceful and calm under the meller light of our hangin’ lamp and the blue radiance of my companion’s two orbs.
Two arm-chairs covered with handsome buff copper-plate wuz drawed up on each side of the round table, that had a cheerful spread on’t, and a basket of meller apples and pears.
Dick Swiveller, our big striped pussy-cat (Thomas J. named him), lay stretched out in luxurious ease on his cushion, a-watchin’ with dignified indulgence the gambollin’ of our little pup dog. He is young yet, and Dick looked lenient on the innocent caperin’s of youth.
Dick is very wise.
The firelight sparkled on the clean hearth, the lamplight gleamed down onto my needles as I sot peaceful a-seamin’ two and two, and the same radiance rested lovin’ly on the shinin’ bald head of my pardner as he sot a-readin’ his favorite production, the World.
All wuz relapsted into silence, all wuz peace, till all to once my pardner dropped his paper, and sez he—
“Samantha, why not write a book on’t?”
It started me, comin’ so onexpected onto me, and specially sence he wuz always so sot aginst my swingin’ out in Literatoor.
I dropped two or three stitches in my inward agitation, but instinctively I catched holt of my dignity, and kep calm on the outside.
And sez I, “Write a book on what, Josiah Allen?”
“Oh, about the World’s Fair!” sez he.
“Wall,” sez I, with a deep sithe, “I had thought on’t, but I’d kinder dreaded the job.”
And he went on: “You know,” sez he, “that We wrote one about the other big Fair, and if We don’t do as well by this one it’ll make trouble,” sez he.
“We!” sez I in my own mind, and in witherin’ axents, but I kep calm on the outside, and he went on—
“Our book,” sez he, “that We wrote on the other big Fair in Filadelfy, I spoze wuz thought as much on and wuz as popular for family readin’ as ever a President’s message wuz; and after payin’ attention to that as We did, We hadn’t ort to slight this one. We can’t afford to,” sez he.