Our Deportment eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 348 pages of information about Our Deportment.


When there are no bridemaids or ushers the marriage ceremonials at the church are as follows:  The members of the bride’s family proceed to the church before the bride, who follows with her mother.  The bridegroom awaits them at the church and gives his arm to the bride’s mother.  They walk up the aisle to the altar, the mother falling back to her position on the left.  The father, or relative representing him, conducts the bride to the bridegroom, who stands at the altar with his face turned toward her as she approaches, and the father falls back to the left.  The relatives follow, taking their places standing; those of the bride to the left, those of the groom to the right.  After kneeling at the altar for a moment, the bride, standing on the left of the bridegroom, takes the glove off from her left hand, while he takes the glove off from his right hand.  The service then begins.  The father of the bride gives her away by bowing when the question is asked, which is a much simpler form than stepping forward and placing his daughter’s hand in that of the clergyman.  Perfect self-control should be exhibited by all parties during the ceremony.

The bride leaves the altar, taking the bridegroom’s right arm, and they pass down the aisle without looking to the right or left.  It is considered very bad form to recognize acquaintances by bows and smiles while in the church.

The bride and bridegroom drive away in their own carriage, the rest following in their carriages.


When the circle of friends on both sides is very extensive, it has become customary of late to send invitations to such as are not called to the wedding breakfast, to attend the ceremony at church.  This stands in the place of issuing cards.  No one must think of calling on the newly married couple who has not received an invitation to the ceremony at church, or cards after their establishment in their new home.


The latest New York form for conducting the marriage ceremony is substantially as follows: 

When the bridal party has arranged itself for entrance, the ushers, in pairs march slowly up to the altar and turn to the right.  Behind them follows the groom alone.  When he reaches the altar he turns, faces the aisle, and watches intently for the coming of his bride.  After a slight interval the bridemaids follow, in pairs, and at the altar turn to the left.  After another brief interval, the bride, alone and entirely veiled, with her eyes cast down, follows her companions.  The groom comes forward a few steps to meet her, takes her hand, and places her at the altar.  Both kneel for a moment’s silent devotion.  The parents of the bride, having followed her, stand just behind her and partly to the left.  The services by the clergyman now proceed as usual.

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Our Deportment from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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