Our Deportment eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 348 pages of information about Our Deportment.

THE REJECTED SUITOR.

The duty of the rejected suitor is quite clear.  Etiquette demands that he shall accept the lady’s decision as final and retire from the field.  He has no right to demand the reason of her refusal.  If she assign it, he is bound to respect her secret, if it is one, and to hold it inviolable.  To persist in urging his suit or to follow up the lady with marked attentions would be in the worst possible taste.  The proper course is to withdraw as much as possible, from the circles in which she moves, so that she may be spared reminiscences which cannot be otherwise than painful.

PRESENTS AFTER ENGAGEMENT.

When a couple become engaged, the gentleman presents the lady with a ring, which is worn on the ring-finger of the right hand.  He may also make her other small presents from time to time, until they are married, but if she has any scruples about accepting them, he can send her flowers, which are at all times acceptable.

CONDUCT OF THE FIANCEE.

The conduct of the fiancee should be tender, assiduous and unobtrusive.  He will be kind and polite to the sisters of his betrothed and friendly with her brothers.  Yet he must not be in any way unduly familiar or force himself into family confidences on the ground that he is to be regarded as a member of the family.  Let the advance come rather from them to him, and let him show a due appreciation of any confidences which they may be pleased to bestow upon him.  The family of the young man should make the first advances toward an acquaintance with his future wife.  They should call upon her or write to her, and they may with perfect propriety invite her to visit them in order that they may become acquainted.

THE POSITION OF AN ENGAGED WOMAN.

An engaged woman should eschew all flirtations, though it does not follow that she is to cut herself off from all association with the other sex because she has chosen her future husband.  She may still have friends and acquaintances, she may still receive visits and calls, but she must try to conduct herself in such a manner as to give no offense.

POSITION OF AN ENGAGED MAN.

The same rules may be laid down in regard to the other party to the contract, only that he pays visits instead of receiving them.  Neither should assume a masterful or jealous altitude toward the other.  They are neither of them to be shut up away from the rest of the world, but must mingle in society after marriage nearly the same as before, and take the same delight in friendship.  The fact that they have confessed their love for each other, ought to be deemed a sufficient guarantee of faithfulness; for the rest let there be trust and confidence.

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Our Deportment from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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