Our Deportment eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 348 pages of information about Our Deportment.
characteristics nor other external qualifications will compensate for the absence of intellectual thought and clear and quick comprehensions.  An absurd idea is held by some that intelligence and domestic virtues cannot go together; that an intellectual woman will never be content to stay at home to look after the interests of her household and children.  A more unreasonable idea has never been suggested, for as the intellect is strengthened and cultured, it has a greater capacity of affection, of domesticity and of self-sacrifice for others.

Mutual trust and confidence are other requisites for happiness in married life.  There can be no true love without trust.  The responsibility of a man’s life is in a woman’s keeping from the moment he puts his heart into her hands.  Without mutual trust there can be no real happiness.

Another requisite for conjugal happiness is moral and religious sympathy, that each may walk side by side in the same path of moral purpose and social usefulness, with joint hope of immortality.

PROPOSALS OF MARRIAGE.

Rules in regard to proposals of marriage cannot be laid down, for they are and should be as different as people.  The best way is to apply to the lady in person, and receive the answer from her own lips.  If courage should fail a man in this, he can resort to writing, by which he can clearly and boldly express his feelings.  A spoken declaration should be bold, manly and earnest, and so plain in its meaning that there can be no misunderstanding.  As to the exact words to be used, there can be no set formula; each proposer must be governed by his own ideas and sense of propriety in the matter.

DO NOT PRESS AN UNWELCOME SUIT.

A gentleman should evince a sincere and unselfish affection for his beloved, and he will show as well as feel that her happiness must be considered before his own.  Consequently he should not press an unwelcome suit upon a young lady.  If she has no affection for him, and does not conceive it possible even to entertain any, it is cruel to urge her to give her person without her love.  The eager lover may believe, for the time being, that such possession would satisfy him, but the day will surely come when he will reproach his wife that she had no love for him, and he will possibly make that an excuse for all manner of unkindness.

A LADY’S FIRST REFUSAL.

It is not always necessary to take a lady’s first refusal as absolute.  Diffidence or uncertainty as to her own feelings may sometimes influence a lady to reply in the negative, and after-consideration cause her to regret that reply.

Though a gentleman may repeat his suit with propriety after having been once repulsed, still it should not be repeated too often nor too long, lest it should degenerate into importuning.

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Our Deportment from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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