Our Deportment eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 348 pages of information about Our Deportment.


After an invitation, cards must be left upon those who have sent it, whether it is accepted or not.  They must be left in person, and if it is desired to end the acquaintance the cards can be left without inquiring whether the ladies are at home.

Gentlemen should not expect to receive invitations from ladies with whom they are only on terms of formal visiting, until the yearly or autumnal call has been made, or until their cards have been left to represent themselves.


These are a loving tribute to the memory of the departed; an English custom rapidly gaining favor with us; it announces to friends the death, of which they might remain in ignorance but for this mark of respect: 

George A. Custer

Lieutenant-Colonel Seventh Cavalry,
Brevet Major-General United States Army,
Born December 5th, 1839,
Harrison County, Ohio,
Killed, with his entire Command, in the
Battle of Little Big Horn,
June 25th, 1876.

* * * * *

Oh, Custer—­Gallant Custer! man fore-doomed
Go ride, like Rupert, spurred and waving-plumed,
Into the very jaws of death.]


Cards of condolence left by mere acquaintances must be returned by “mourning cards” before such persons feel at liberty to make a call.  When the bereaved are ready to receive calls (instead of the cards) of their acquaintances, “mourning cards” in envelopes, or otherwise, are returned to all those who have left their cards since the death, which was the occasion of the cards being left.  Intimate friends, of course, do not wait for cards, but continue their calls, without regard to any ceremonious observances made for the protection of the bereaved.  Acquaintances leaving cards should inquire after the health of the family, leaving the cards in person.


On announcement of a death it is correct to call in person at the door; to make inquiries and leave your card, with lower left hand corner turned down.  Unless close intimacy exists, it is not usage to ask to see the afflicted.  Cards can be sent to express sympathy, but notes of condolence are permissible only from intimate friends.


When only the family and the most intimate friends of a bride and bridegroom have been included in the invitation for the marriage, or where there has been no reception after the marriage at church, the bridegroom often sends his bachelor card (inclosed in an envelope) to those of his acquaintances with whom he wishes to continue on visiting terms.  Those who receive a card should call on the bride, within ten days after she has taken possession of her home.  Some persons have received such a card as an intimation that the card was to end the acquaintance.  This mistake shows the necessity of a better understanding of social customs.

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Our Deportment from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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