Title:  Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 159, July 21, 1920

Author:  Various

Editor:  Owen Seaman

Release Date:  January 24, 2006 [EBook #17596]

Language:  English

Character set encoding:  ASCII

*** Start of this project gutenberg EBOOK Punch ***

Produced by Jonathan Ingram, Paul Ereaut, Cori Samuel and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net

PUNCH OR THE LONDON CHARIVARIA.

Vol. 159.

JULY 21, 1920

CHARIVARIA.

To judge by the Spa Conference it looks as if we might be going to have a peace to end peace.

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It will soon be necessary for the Government to arrange an old-age pension scheme for Peace Conference delegates.

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It is difficult to know whom or what to blame for the exceptionally wet weather we have been having, says an evening paper.  Pending a denial from Mr. Lloyd George, The Times has its own opinion as to who is at the bottom of it.

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Mr. Stanton pointed out in the House of Commons that, unless increased salaries are given to Members, there will be a strike.  Fears are entertained, however, that a settlement will be reached.

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“The Derry shirt-cutters,” says a news item, “have decided to continue to strike.”  The Derry throat-cutters, on the other hand, have postponed striking to a more favourable opportunity.

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The way to bring down the price of home-killed meat, the Ministry of Food announces officially, is for the public not to buy it.  You can’t have your cheap food and eat it.

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Harborough Rocks, one of the few Druid Circles in the kingdom, has been sold.  Heading-for-the-Rocks, the famous Druid Circle at Westminster, has also been sold on several occasions by the Chief Wizard.

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A gossip writer states that he saw a man carrying two artificial legs while travelling in a Tube train.  There is nothing like being prepared for all emergencies while travelling.

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“The ex-Kaiser,” says an American journal, “makes his own clothes to pass the time away.”  This is better than his old hobby of making wars to pass other people’s time away.

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“Danger of infection from Treasury notes,” says The Weekly Dispatch, “has been exaggerated.”  Whenever we see a germ on one of our notes we pat it on the back and tell it to lie down.

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A West Riding paper states that a postman picked up a pound Treasury note last week.  It is said that he intends to have it valued by an expert.

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An engineer suggests that all roads might be made of rubber.  For pedestrians who are knocked down by motor-cars the resilience of this material would be a great boon.