Prairie Farmer, Vol. 56: No. 1, January 5, 1884. eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 166 pages of information about Prairie Farmer, Vol. 56.

Prairie Farmer, Vol. 56: No. 1, January 5, 1884. eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 166 pages of information about Prairie Farmer, Vol. 56.

By C.G.  ELLOITT and J.J.W.  BILLINGSLEY

PRICE, ONE DOLLAR.

For sale by

THE PRAIRIE FARMER PUBLISHING CO.,
150 Monroe St., Chicago, Ill.

* * * * *

THE SHEPHERD’S MANUAL
A PRACTICAL TREATISE ON THE SHEEP.

Designed Especially for American Shepherds
BY HENRY STEWART.

Finely Illustrated

PRICE, $1.50, by mail, postpaid.  Address

PRAIRIE FARMER PUBLISHING CO., Chicago.

* * * * *

HUMOUROUS

[Illustration]

THE CARPENTER’S WOOING.

    “Oh, beam my life, my awl to me!”
      He cried, his flame addressing—­
    “If I ’adze such a love as yours,
      I’d ask no other blessing!”
    “I am rejoist to hear you speak,”
      The maiden said with laughter—­
    “For tho’ I hammer guileless girl,
      It’s plane what you are rafter. 
    Now if file love you just a bit,
      What further can you ax me? 
    Can—­will you be content with that,
      Or will you further tacks me?”
    He looked handsaw her words were square—­
      “No rival can displace me—­
    Yes, one more favor I implore,
      And that is, dear Em, brace me!”

    She came full chisel to his arms;
      It really made him stair
    To have her make a bolt for him
      Before he could prepare. 
    He tried to screw his courage up,
      And did his level best
    To nail the matter then and there,
      While clasped unto her breast. 
    Says he:  “It augers well for me,
      All seems to hinge on this;
    And, what is mortise plane to see
      The porch child wants a kiss.” 
    He kissed her lip, he kissed her cheek,
      And called her his adoored—­
    He dons his claw-hammer next week,
      And she will share his board.

_—­Detroit Free Press._

WHERE THE OLD MAIDS COME IN.

“Do you know, sir,” inquired an American tourist of his companion, while doing England, “can you inform me the reason for the fresh, healthful appearance of the English people?  Their complexion is far superior to ours, or our countrymen over the herring pond.”

“Well, I know what Prof.  Huxley says.”

“And what reason does he advance?”

“Well, Huxley says it is owing to the old maids.”

“Owing to old maids!  You surprise me.”

“Fact.  Huxley figures it out this way.  Now, you know the English are very fond of roast beef.”

“But what has that to do with old maids?”

“Go slow.  This genuine English beef is the best and most nutritious beef in the world, and it imparts a beautiful complexion.”

“Well, about the old maids?”

Copyrights
Project Gutenberg
Prairie Farmer, Vol. 56: No. 1, January 5, 1884. from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.