Hereupon it went hard with me, not to catch her up
and kiss her, in the manner in which she was looking;
only it smote me suddenly that this would be a low
advantage of her trust and helplessness. She seemed
to know what I would be at, and to doubt very greatly
about it, whether as a child of old she might permit
the usage. All sorts of things went through my
head, as I made myself look away from her, for fear
of being tempted beyond what I could bear. And
the upshot of it was that I said, within my heart
and through it, “John Ridd, be on thy very best
manners with this lonely maiden.”
Lorna liked me all the better for my good forbearance;
because she did not love me yet, and had not thought
about it; at least so far as I knew. And though
her eyes were so beauteous, so very soft and kindly,
there was (to my apprehension) some great power in
them, as if she would not have a thing, unless her
judgment leaped with it.
But now her judgment leaped with me, because I had
behaved so well; and being of quick urgent nature—such
as I delight in, for the change from mine own slowness—she,
without any let or hindrance, sitting over against
me, now raising and now dropping fringe over those
sweet eyes that were the road-lights of her tongue,
Lorna told me all about everything I wished to know,
every little thing she knew, except indeed that point
of points, how Master Ridd stood with her.
Although it wearied me no whit, it might be wearisome
for folk who cannot look at Lorna, to hear the story
all in speech, exactly as she told it; therefore let
me put it shortly, to the best of my remembrance.
Nay, pardon me, whosoever thou art, for seeming fickle
and rude to thee; I have tried to do as first proposed,
to tell the tale in my own words, as of another’s
fortune. But, lo! I was beset at once with
many heavy obstacles, which grew as I went onward,
until I knew not where I was, and mingled past and
present. And two of these difficulties only were
enough to stop me; the one that I must coldly speak
without the force of pity, the other that I, off and
on, confused myself with Lorna, as might be well expected.
Therefore let her tell the story, with her own sweet
voice and manner; and if ye find it wearisome, seek
in yourselves the weariness.
[Illustration: 159.jpg Tailpiece]
LORNA BEGINS HER STORY
[Illustration: 160.jpg Illustrated Capital]
“I cannot go through all my thoughts so as to
make them clear to you, nor have I ever dwelt on things,
to shape a story of them. I know not where the
beginning was, nor where the middle ought to be, nor
even how at the present time I feel, or think, or
ought to think. If I look for help to those around
me, who should tell me right and wrong (being older
and much wiser), I meet sometimes with laughter, and
at other times with anger.
