Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.

PEEL.—­“Lord Lieutenant of Ireland—­Henry Moreton Dyer.”

PUNCH.—­An admirable person.  As Ireland is the hotbed of all crimes, do we not want a Lord Lieutenant who shall be able to assess the true value of every indiscretion, from simple murder to compound larceny?  As every Irishman may in a few months be in prison, I want a Lord Lieutenant who shall be emphatically the prisoner’s friend.  Go on.

PEEL.—­“Secretary for Home Department—­George Robins.”

PUNCH.—­A man so intimately connected with the domestic affairs of the influential classes of the country.  Go on.

PEEL.—­“Lord Chancellor—­Mr. Dunn, barrister.”

PUNCH.—­As it appears to me, the best protector of rich heiresses and orphans.  Go on.

PEEL.—­“Secretary for the Colonies—­Money Moses.”

PUNCH.—­A man, you will allow, with a great stake, in fact, with all he has, in one of our colonial possessions.  Go on.

PEEL.—­“President of the Council—­Mrs. Fry.”

PUNCH.—­A lady whose individual respectability may give a convenient cloak to any policy.  Go on.

PEEL.—­“Secretary for Ireland—­Henry Moreton Dyer’s footman.”

PUNCH.—­On the venerable adage of “like master like man.”  Go on.

PEEL.—­“Lord Chamberlain—­The boy Jones.”

PUNCH.—­As one best knowing all the intricacies, from the Royal bed-chamber to the scullery, of Buckingham Palace.  Besides he will drive a donkey-cart.  Go on.

PEEL.—­“Ambassador at Paris—­Alfred Bunn, or any other translator of
French Operas

PUNCH.—­A person who will have a continual sense of the necessities of his country at home; and therefore, by his position, be enabled to send us the earliest copies of M. Scribe’s printed dramas; or, in cases of exigency, the manuscripts themselves.  And now, Bobby, what think you of Punch’s Cabinet?

PEEL.—­Why, really, I did not think the country contained so much state talent.

PUNCH.—­That’s the narrowness of your philosophy; if you were to look with an enlarged, a thinking mind, you’d soon perceive that the distance was not so great from St. James’s to St. Giles’s—­from the House of Commons to the House of Correction.  Well, do you accept my list?

PEEL.—­Excuse me, my dear Punch, I must first try my own; when if that fails—­

PUNCH.—­You’ll try mine?  That’s a bargain.

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[Illustration:  THE EVENING PARTY.



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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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