Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.


We are sorry to perceive that trade was never in a more alarming state than at present.  A general strike for wages has taken place amongst the smiths.  The carpenters have been dreadfully cut up; and the shoemakers find, at the last, that it is impossible to make both ends meet.  The bakers complain that the pressure of the times is so great, that they cannot get the bread to rise.  The bricklayers swear that the monopolists ought to be brought to the scaffold.  The glaziers, having taken some pains to discover the cause of the distress, declare that they can see through the whole affair.  The gardeners wish to get at the root of the evil, and consequently have become radical reformers.  The laundresses have washed their hands clean of the business.  The dyers protest that things never looked so blue in their memory, as there is but a slow demand for

[Illustration:  FAST COLOURS.]

The butchers are reduced to their last stake.  The weavers say their lives hang by a single thread.  The booksellers protest we must turn over a new leaf.  The ironmongers declare that the times are very hard indeed.  The cabmen say business is completely at a stand.  The watermen are all aground.  The tailors object to the government measures;—­and the undertakers think that affairs are assuming a grave aspect.  Public credit, too, is tottering;—­nobody will take doctors’ draughts, and it is difficult to obtain cash for the best bills (of the play).  An extensive brandy-ball merchant in the neighbourhood of Oxford-street has called a meeting of his creditors; and serious apprehensions are entertained that a large manufacturer of lollypops in the Haymarket will be unable to meet his heavy liabilities.  Two watchmakers in the city have stopped this morning, and what is more extraordinary, their watches have “stopped” too.

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The figure, stuffed with shavings, of a French grenadier, constructed by the Duke of Normandie, and exhibited by him recently at Woolwich, which he stated would explode if fired at by bullets of his own construction, possitively objected to being blown up in such a ridiculous manner; and though several balls were discharged at the man of shavings, he showed no disposition to move.  The Duke waxed exceedingly wroth at the coolness of his soldier, and swore, if he had been a true Frenchman, he would have gone off at the first fire.

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“What’s the difference between the top of a mountain and a person afflicted with any disorder?”—­“One’s a summit of a hill, and the other’s ill of a summut.”

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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