Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.

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These are the continental-trip days.  All the world will be now a-touring.  But every one is not a Dr. Bowring, and it is rather convenient to be able to edge in a word now and then, when these rascally foreigners will chatter in their own beastly jargon.  Ignorant pigs, not to accustom themselves to talk decent English!  Il Signor Marchese Cantini, the learned and illustrious author of “Hi, diddlo-diddlino!  Il gutto e’l violino!”, has just rendered immense service to the trip-loving natives of these lovely isles, by preparing a “Guide to Conversation,” that for utility and correctness of idiom surpasses all previous attempts of the same kind.  With it in one hand, and a bagful of Napoleons or Zecchini in the other, the biggest dunce in London—­nay, even a schoolmaster—­may travel from Boulogne to Naples and back, with the utmost satisfaction to himself, and with substantial profit to the people of these barbarous climes.  The following is a specimen of the way in which Il Signor has accomplished his undertaking.  It will be seen at a glance how well he has united the classical with the utilitarian principle, clothing both in the purest dialect; ex. gr.:—­


Does your mother know Madame, votre maman, La vostra signora you’re out? sait-elle que vous madre sa che siete
                         n’etes pas chez vous? uscito di casa?

It won’t do, Mr. Cela nese passera, Questo non fara
Ferguson.  Monsieur Ferguson, cosi, il Signore
                         jamais!  Fergusoni!

Who are you?  Est-ce que vous aviez Chi e vossignoria?
                         jamais un pere?

All round my hat.  Tout autour mon Tutto all’ interno
                         chapeau. del mio capello!

Go it, ye cripples!  C’est ca!  Battez-vous Bravo! bravo,
                         bien—­boiteux; stroppiati!
                         cr-r-r-r-matin!  Ancora-ancora!

Such a getting           Diantre! comme on       Come si ha salito—­
up-stairs!               monte l’escalier!       e maraviglioso!

Jump, Jim Crow.  Sautez, Monsiuer Salti, pergrazia,
                         Jaques Corbeau!  Signor Giamomo

It would not be fair to rob the Signor of any more of his labour.  It will be seen that, on the principle of the Painter and his Cow, we have distinctly written above each sentence the language it belongs to.  It is always better to obviate the possibility of mistakes.

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Project Gutenberg
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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