Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.

A man in New-York enjoys such very excellent spirits that he has only to drink water to intoxicate himself.

* * * * *

TO JOBBING PATRIOTS.

            MR. GEORGE ROBINS.
    with unparalleled gratification, begs to state that he has it in
                Command
  to announce, that in consequence of
        LORD JOHN RUSSELL’S LETTER
  to the citizens of London having satisfactorily convinced her
          MOST GRACIOUS MAJESTY
        that a change of ministry
                CANNOT
  be productive of a corresponding transformation of measures, and that
  the late
        POLITICO-GLADIATORIAL STRUGGLE
  for the guerdon of office could only have emanated from a highly
  commendatory desire on the part of the disinterested and patriotic
  belligerents
          TO SERVE THEMSELVES
            or their country,
          HIS ROYAL MISTRESS,
  ever solicitous to enchain the hearts of her devoted subjects, by an
  impartial exercise of her prerogative, has determined to submit to the
    ARBITRATION OF HIS HUMBLE HAMMER,
  some of those desirable places, so long known as the stimuli to the
            LACTANT LYCURGI
  of the nineteenth century.

LOT 1. 
FIRST LORD OF THE TREASURY,
at present in possession of Lord Melbourne.  This will be found a most
eligible investment, as it embraces a considerable extent of female
patronage, comprising the appointments of those valuable legislative
adjuncts,
THE LADIES OF THE BEDCHAMBER,
AND THE ROYAL NURSES, WET AND DRY;
together with those household desiderata,
COALS AND CANDLES,
and an unlimited
RUN OF THE ROYAL KITCHEN.

            LOT 2. 
    SECRETARY OF STATE FOR THE COLONIAL DEPARTMENT,
  at present occupied by Lord John Russell.  This lot must possess
  considerable attraction for a gastronomical experimentalist, as its
  present proprietor has for a long time been engaged in the discovery
  of how few pinches of oatmeal and spoonsful of gruel are sufficient
  for a human pauper, and will be happy to transfer his data to the
  next fortunate proprietor.  Any gentleman desirous of embarking in the
  manufacture of
    SUGAR CANDY, MATCHES, OR CHEAP BREAD,
  would find this a desirable investment, more particularly should he
  wish to form either
    A PAROCHIAL OR MATRIMONIAL UNION,
  as there are plans for the one, and hints for the other, which will
  be thrown into the bargain, being of no further use to the present
  noble incumbent.

            LOT 3. 
    SECRETARY OF STATE FOR THE HOME DEPARTMENT,
  at present the property of Lord Normanby.  Is admirably calculated for
  any one of a literary turn of mind, offering resources peculiarly

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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