Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.

There is in the city a noted place for deposits, much resorted to by certain parties, who are in the habit of giving drafts upon it very freely, when applied to for payment.  We regret to state that if the severity of the weather continues, a stoppage is expected in the quarter hinted at, and as the issues are at all times exceedingly copious, the worst results may be anticipated.  Our readers will at once perceive that, in attributing such an effect as total stoppage to such a cause as continued frost, we can only point to one quarter which is in the habit of answering drafts; and, as further delicacy would be useless, we avow at once that Aldgate Pump is here alluded to.  We understand that, as the customers are chiefly people of straw, it is intended to see what effect straw will have in averting the calamity.  We were sorry to see the other day a very large bill upon a quarter hitherto so respectable.  We are aware that its exposed condition gives every one a handle against it, and we are, therefore, the more circumspect in giving currency to every idle rumour.  We should be no less sorry to see Aldgate Pump stop from external causes, than to know that it had been swamped by its own excessive issues.  Though as yet quite above water, it is feared that it will soon be in an-ice predicament.

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FASHIONABLE INTELLIGENCE.

Arrivals.—­Jack Frost, from the North.

Departures.—­Several members of the Swellmobocracy have, within the last few days, quitted Deptford for South Australia.  The periods of their intended sojourn are various.

Changes.—­Ned Morris has changed his collar, but continues his shirt for the present.  Among the other changes we have to record one effected by Sam Smasher, of a counterfeit sovereign.

It is a remarkable fact that the weathercocks have recently changed their quarters, and have left the West in favour of the East:  a predilection of astounding vulgarity.

Timothy Tomkins has had another splendid turn-out from his lodgings, the landlord having complained of want of punctuality in payments.

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A LETTER FROM AN OLD FRIEND,

SHOWING HOW HE IS GETTING ON.

Clodpole, Dec. 23, 1841.

MY DEAR PUNCH,

Here I am, you see, keeping Christmas, and having no end of fun amongst the jolly innocent grubs that vegetate in these rural districts.  All I regret is that you are not here.  I would give a ten-pound note to see you, if I had it;—­I would, indeed—­so help me several strong men and a steam-engine!

We had a great night in London before I started, only I got rascally screwed:  not exactly sewed up, you know but hit under the wing, so that I could not very well fly.  I managed to break the window on the third-floor landing of my lodgings, and let my water-jug fall slap through the wash-hand basin upon a looking-glass that was lying face upwards underneath; but as I was off early in the morning it did not signify.

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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