Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.

  “The opera opens with”—­“elegant coats”—­
  “For silver and gold we exchange foreign notes”—­
  “Specific to soften mortality’s ills”—­
  “And cure Yorkshire bacon”—­“take Morison’s pills.” 
  “Curious coincidence”—­“steam to Gravesend.” 
  “Tale of deep interest”—­“money to lend”—­
  “Louisa is waiting for William to send.” 
    For amusement you never need be at a loss,
    If you take a newspaper and read it across.

  “For relief of the Poles”—­“an astounding feat!”—­
  “A respectable man”—­“for a water will eat”—­
  “The Macadamised portion of Parliament-street.” 
  “Mysterious occurrence!”—­“expected incog.” 
  “To be viewed by cards only”—­“a terrible fog.” 
  “At eight in the morning the steam carriage starts”—­
  “Takes passengers now”—­“to be finished in parts.” 
    For amusement you never need be at a loss,
    If you take a newspaper and read it across.

  “Left in a cab, and”—­“the number not known”
  “A famous prize ox, weighing 200 stone”—­
  “He speaks with a lisp”—­“has a delicate shape”—­
  “And had on, when he quitted, a Macintosh cape.” 
  “For China direct, a fine”—­“dealer in slops.” 
  “To the curious in shaving”—­“new way to dress chops.” 
  “Repeal of the corn”—­“was roasted for lunch”—­
  “Teetotal beverage “—­“Triumph of PUNCH!”
    For amusement you never need be at a loss,
    If you take a newspaper and read it across.

* * * * *

A CON.  BY DUNCOMBE.

“Why are four thousand eight hundred and forty yards of land obtained on credit like a drinking song?”—­“Because it’s an-acre-on-tic.”—­“I think I had you there!”

* * * * *

A WOOD CUT.

A correspondent of one of the morning papers exultingly observes, that the wood-blocks which are about being removed from Whitehall are in excellent condition.  If this is an allusion to the present ministry, we should say, emphatically, NOT.

* * * * *

REVENGE IS SWEET.

The Tories in Beverley have been wreaking their vengeance on their opponents at the late election, by ordering their tradesmen who voted against the Conservative candidate to send in their bills.  Mr. Duncombe declares that this is a mode of revenge he never would condescend to adopt.

* * * * *

  If Farren, cleverest of men,
    Should go to the right about,
  What part of town will he be then?—­
    Why, Farren-done-without!

* * * * *

“WHAT HO!  APOTHECARY.”

Cox, a pill-doctor at Leeds, it is reported, modestly requested a check for L10, for the honour of his vote.  Had his demand been complied with, we presume the bribe would have been endorsed, “This draught to be taken at poll time.”

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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