Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.
I alludes to them blessed ’pikes? (Long and continued cheers.) Sir Eddard is fully aware that the ’pike-men didn’t make the dirt that makes the road, and werry justly refuses to fork out tuppence-ha’penny!  It’s werry true Sir Eddard says that the t’other taxes must be paid, as what’s to pay the ministers?  But it’s highly unreasonable that ’pike-men is to be put alongside of Prime Ministers, wedgetable wendors, and purveyors of promiscus polte-ry!  Had that great man succeeded in bilking the toll, what a thing it would ha’ been for us!  Gatter is but 3d. a pot, and that’s the price of a reasonable ’pike-ticket.  That wenerable and wenerated liquor as bears the cognominum of ‘Old Tom’ is come-atable for the walley of them werry browns.  But Sir Eddard has failed in his bould endeavour—­the ’pikes has it! (Shame!) It’s for us to reward him.  I therefore proposes that a collection of turnpike tickets is made, and then elegantly mounted, framed and glaziered, and presented to the Right Honourable Barrownight.” (Immense applause.)

Mr. ALEC BILL JONES, the celebrated early-tater and spring-ingen dealer, seconded the proposition, at the same time suggesting that “Old ’pike-tickets would do as well as new ’uns; and everybody know’d that second-hand tumpike-tickets warn’t werry waluable, so the thing could be done handsome and reasonable.”

A collection was immediately commenced in the room, and in a few minutes the subscription included the whole of the Metropolitan trusts, together with three Waterloo-bridge tickets, which the donor stated “could ony be ’ad for axing for.”

A deputation was then formed for the purpose of presenting this unique testimonial when completed to Sir Edward Knatchbull.

It is rumoured that the lessees of the gates in the neighbourhood of the Metropolis are trying to get up a counter meeting.  We have written to Mr. Levy on the subject.

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We perceive from a foreign paper that a criminal who has been imprisoned for a considerable period at Presburg has acquired a complete mastery over the violin.  It has been announced that he will shortly make an appearance in public.  Doubtless, his performance will be a solo on one string.

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[Illustration:  T]The morning after the carousal reported in our last chapter, the parties thereat assisting are dispersed in various parts of London.  Did a modern Asmodeus take a spectator to any elevated point from which he could overlook the Great Metropolis of Mr. Grant and England just at this period, when Aurora has not long called the sun, who rises as surlily as if he had got out of bed the wrong way, he would

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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