Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.

As it is expected that the jogging and jerking, or the sudden passing through tunnels, may in some degree interfere with the perusal of this poem, we give it with the abbreviations, as it is likely to be read with the drawbacks alluded to.

Wherever there is a dash—­it is supposed there will be a jolt of the vehicle.

CORSAIR-POEM.

—­sky—­dark—­sea—­rough; —­Corsair—­brave—­tough; —­wind—­high—­waves steep; —­moon—­veil’d—­oce—­deep; —­foam—­gainst—­vess—­dash’d; —­Corsair—­board—­wash’d. —­rope—­vain—­to save, —­brine—­Cors—­grave.

* * * * *

“STUPID AS A ‘POST.’”

The Morning Post has made another blunder.  Lord Abinger, it seems, is too Conservative to resign.  After all the editorial boasting about “exclusive information,” “official intelligence,” &c. it is very evident that the “Morning Twaddler” must not be looked upon as a direction post.

* * * * *

We learn that a drama of startling interest, founded upon a recent event of singular horror, is in active preparation at the Victoria Theatre.  It is to be entitled “Cavanagh the Culprit; or, the Irish Saveloyard.”  The interest of the drama will be immensely strengthened by the introduction of the genuine knife with which the fatal ham was cut.  Real saveloys will also be eaten by the Fasting Phenomenon before the audience.

* * * * *

“Never saw such stirring times,” as the spoon said to the saucepan.

* * * * *

THE “PUFF PAPERS.”

[Illustration]

CHAPTER I.

Having expressed the great gratification I should enjoy at being permitted to become a member of so agreeable a society, I was formally presented by the chairman with a capacious meerschaum, richly mounted in silver, and dark with honoured age, filled with choice tobacco, which he informed me was the initiatory pipe to be smoked by every neophyte on his admission amongst the “Puffs.”  I shall not attempt to describe with what profound respect I received that venerable tube into my hands—­how gently I applied the blazing match to its fragrant contents—­how affectionately I placed the amber mouth-piece between my lips, and propelled the thick wreaths of smoke in circling eddies to the ceiling:—­to dilate upon all this might savour of an egotistical desire to exalt my own merits—­a species of puffing I mortally abhor.  Suffice it to say, that when I had smoked the pipe of peace, I was heartily congratulated by the chairman and the company generally upon the manner in which I had acquitted myself, and I was declared without a dissentient voice a duly-elected member of the “Puffs.”

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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