Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.

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SIR PETER LAURIE having observed a notice in one of the journals that the superior planets, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn, are now to be seen every evening in the west, despatched a messenger to them with an invitation to the late Polish Ball, sagely remarking that “three such stars must prove an attraction.”  Upon Sir Peter mentioning the circumstance to Hobler, the latter cunningly advised Alderman Figaro (in order to prevent accidents) to solicit them to come by water, and accordingly Sir Peter’s carriage was in waiting for the fiery stranger at the

[Illustration:  TOWER STARES.]

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The borough of Limerick at present enjoys the singular advantage of having two civic heads to the city.  The new mare, Martin Honan, Esq., after being duly elected, civilly requested the old mare, C. S. Vereker, Esq., to turn out; to which he as civilly replied that he would see him blessed first, and as he was himself the only genuine and original donkey, he was resolved not to yield his place at the corporate manger to the new animal.  Thus matters remain at present—­the old Mare resolutely refusing to take his head out of the halter until he is compelled to do so.

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By the Author of the “Great Metropolis."

It is a remarkable fact that, in spite of the recent Act, there are no less than three hundred sweeps who still continue to cry “sweep,” in the very teeth of the legislative measure alluded to.  I have been in the habit of meeting many of these sweeps at the house I use for my breakfast; and in the course of conversation with them, I have generally found that they know they are breaking the law in calling out “sweep,” but they do not raise the cry for the mere purpose of law-breaking.  I am sure it would be found on inquiry that it is only with the view of getting business that they call out at all; and this shows the impolicy of making a law which is not enforced; for they all know that it is very seldom acted upon.

The same argument will apply to the punishment of death; and my friend Jack Ketch, whom I meet at the Frog and Frying-pan, tells me that he has hanged a great many who never expected it.  If I were to be asked to make all the laws for this country, I certainly should manage things in a very different manner; and I am glad to say that I have legal authority on my side, for the lad who opens the door at Mr. Adolphus’s chambers—­with whom I am on terms of the closest intimacy—­thinks as I do upon every great question of legal and constitutional policy.  But this is “neither here nor there,” as my publisher told me when I asked him for the profits of my last book, and I shall therefore drop the subject.

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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