Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.

It is astonishing with what pertinacity the characters in most farces will bore one with their private affairs when they first appear!  In this respect Sir Bryan Beausex, in the next scene, is quite as bad as Patty was in the former one.  He seems to have invited four unoffending victims to dine at his chambers in the Albany, on purpose to inform them that in his youth he was betrothed to a girl whom he has never since seen; but what that has to do with telling his guests to be off, because he expects a charming little lady’s-maid at six, his companions are doubtless puzzled to understand.  One of them, however, is Beechwood—­a very considerably diluted edition of Jerry Bumps in “Turning the Tables”—­who determines to revenge this early turn-out by a trick upon the inhospitable host, and goes off to develop it—­to commence, in fact, the farce.

Sir Bryan Beausex is waiting with impatience the arrival of Patty, when his servant enters with a letter, which he says has been just delivered by a servant, who galloped up to the door on a horse—­an extraordinary clever hack, we should say; for, to perform this feat, he must have broken through a porter’s lodge, galloped over a smooth pavement, and under a roof so low, that Lord Burghersh can only traverse it with his hat off.  We should like to see a horse-race in the Albany avenue!  The letter thus so cavalierly brought, contains news of an accident that has happened to Miss Fringe, and summons Beausex’s immediate presence.  Off he goes, and on comes Beechwood with a “Ha! ha! ha!, fairly hoaxed,” and all that; which is usually laughed and said by hoaxers of hoaxees.

It has happened that Mr. Tack, the upholsterer, having had a peep at the contents of the cocked-hat billet, addressed to Mistress Smart, conceives a violent fit of jealousy, and having also Beausex’s custom, has the range of his house as well as that of Miss Fringe.  So by this time we naturally find him behind Sir Bryan’s window-curtains, to witness the interview between him and the future Mrs. Tack; that is to say, if she prove not false.

Things approach to a crisis. Miss Fringe enters, but brings with her Alice, the young lady whose infant heart was betrothed to Beausex.  She, taking the place of Patty Smart, goes through a dialogue with Beechwood instead of Beausex; and we now learn that the former christens the farce, he being the “Wrong Man.”  Somewhere near this point of the story the first act ends.

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.