ON THE KEY-VIVE.

There can be no doubt as to the prima facie evidence of the hostile intentions of the destroyed American steamer, with respect to the disaffected on Navy Island, as, from the acknowledged inquisitiveness of the gentler sex, there can be no doubt that Caroline would have a natural predilection for

[Illustration:  PRIVATE (H)EERING.]

* * * * *

LAST NEW SAYINGS.

Come, none of your raillery; as the stage-coach indignantly said to the steam-engine.

That “strain” again; as the Poor-law Commissioner generously said to the water-gruel sieve.

I paid very dear for my whistle; as the steam-engine emphatically said to the railroad.

Peel for ever! as the church bells joyously said to Conservative hearts.

* * * * *

There is at present a man in New York whose temper is so exceedingly hot that he invariably reduces all his shirts to tinder.

* * * * *

PUNCH’S THEATRE.

THE MAID OF HONOUR.

The Adelphi “Correspondent from Paris” has favoured that Theatre with an adaptation of Scribe’s “Verre d’Eau,” which he has called “The Maid of Honour.”

Everybody must remember that, last year, the trifling affair of the British Government was settled by the far more momentous consideration of who should be Ladies of the Bed-chamber.  The Parisians, seeing the dramatic capabilities of this incident, put it into a farce, resting the whole affair upon the shoulders of a former Queen whose Court was similarly circumstanced.  This is the piece which Mr. Yates has had the daring to get done into English, and transplanted into Spain, and interspersed with embroidery, confectionary, and a Spanish sentence; the last judiciously entrusted to that accomplished linguist, Mr. John Saunders.

Soon after the rising of the curtain, we behold the figure of Mr. Yates displayed to great advantage in the dress usually assigned to Noodle and Doodle in the tragedy of “Tom Thumb.”  He represents the Count Ollivarez, and the head of a political party—­the opposition.  The Court faction having for its chief the Duchess of Albafurez, who being Mistress of the Queen’s robes is of course her favourite; for the millinery department of the country which can boast of a Queen Regnant is of far higher importance than foreign or financial affairs, justice, police, or war—­consequently, the chief of the wardrobe is far more exalted and better beloved than a mere Premier or Secretary of State.  The Count is planning an intrigue, the agents of which are to be Henrico, a Court page, and Felicia, a court milliner.  Not being able to make much of the page, he turns over a new leaf, and addresses himself to the dress-maker; so, after a few preliminary hems, he draws out the thread of his purpose to her, and cuts out an excellent pattern for her guidance, which if she implicitly follow will assuredly make her a Maid of Honour.