Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.

Amongst the most devoted of her admirers was Julian Fitzorphandale.  Seraphina was not insensible to the worth of Julian Fitzorphandale; and when she received from him a letter, asking permission to visit her, she felt some difficulty in replying to his ?[3]; for, at this very critical .[4], an unamiable young man, named Augustus St. Tomkins, who possessed considerable L. s. d. had become a suitor for her [Symbol:  hand].  She loved Fitzorphandale +[5] St. Tomkins, but the former was [Symbol:  empty] of money; and Seraphina, though sensitive to an extreme, was fully aware that a competency was a very comfortable “appendix.”

She seized her pen, but found that her mind was all 6’s and 7’s.  She spelt Fitzorphandale, P-h-i-t-z; and though she commenced ¶[6] after ¶, she never could come to a “finis.”  She upbraided her unlucky * *, either for making Fitzorphandale so poor, or St. Tomkins so ugly, which he really was.  In this dilemma we must leave her at present.

Although Augustus St. Tomkins was a [Symbol:  Freemason][7], he did not possess the universal benevolence which that ancient order inculcates; but revolving in his mind the probable reasons for Seraphina’s hesitation, he came to this conclusion:  she either loved him -[8] somebody else, or she did not love him at all.  This conviction only X[9] his worst feelings, and he resolved that no [Symbol:  scruple scruple][10] of conscience should stand between him and his desires.

On the following day, Fitzorphandale had invited Seraphina to a pic-nic party.  He had opened the &[11] placed some boiled beef and ^^[12] on the verdant grass, when Seraphina exclaimed, in the mildest ``’’[13], “I like it well done, Fitzorphandale!”

As Julian proceeded to supply his beloved one with a Sec.[14] of the provender, St. Tomkins stood before them with a [Symbol:  dagger][15] in his [Symbol:  hand].

Want of space compels us to leave the conclusion of this interesting romance to the imagination of the reader, and to those ingenious playwrights who so liberally supply our most popular authors with gratuitous catastrophes.

    NOTES BY THE FLY-BOY.

1.  Admiration. 2.  Parallel. 3.  Note of Interrogation. 4.  Period. 5.  More than. 6.  Paragraph. 7.  Freemason. 8.  Less than. 9.  Multiplied. 10.  Scruples. 11.  Hampers-and. 12.  Carets. 13.  Accents. 14.  Section. 15.  Dagger.

* * * * *

NEWS OF EXTRAORDINARY INTEREST.

A mechanic in Berlin has invented a balance of extremely delicate construction.  Sir Robert Peel, it is said, intends to avail himself of the invention, to keep his political principles so nicely balanced between Whig and Tory, that the most accurate observer shall be unable to tell which way they tend.

The London Fire Brigade have received directions to hold themselves in readiness at the meeting of Parliament, to extinguish any conflagration that may take place, from the amazing quantity of inflammatory speeches and political fireworks that will be let off by the performers on both sides of the house.

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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