Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.
Most of the precious stones, as diamonds, rubies, emeralds, are also to be found in this layer.  The materials of which it is composed are various, and appear originally to have belonged to the inferior classes; and the only use to which it can be applied is in the construction of peers.  Throughout all the classes there occur what are called veins, containing diverse substances.  The larking vein is extremely abundant in the superior classes—­it is rich in brass knockers, bell handles, and policemen’s rattles; this vein descends through all the lower strata, the specimens in each differing according to the situation in which they are found; the middle classes being generally discovered deposited in the Coal-hole Tavern or the Cider-cellars, while the individuals of the very inferior order are usually discovered in gin-shops and low pot-houses, and not unfrequently

[Illustration:  EMBEDDED IN QUARTS(Z).]

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Father Thames, not content with his customary course, has been “swelling it” in the course of the week, through some of the streets of the metropolis.  As if to inculcate temperance, he walked himself down into public-house cellars, filling all the empty casks with water, and adulterating all the beer and spirits that came in his way; turning also every body’s fixed into floating capital.  Half empty butts, whose place was below, came sailing up into the bar through the ceiling of the cellar; saucepans were elevated from beneath the dresser to the dresser itself; while cups were made “to pop off the hooks” with surprising rapidity.

But the greatest consternation that prevailed was among the rats, particularly those in the neighbourhood of Downing-street, who were driven out of the sewers they inhabit with astounding violence.

The dairies on the banks of the Thames were obliged to lay aside their customary practice of inundating the milk; for such a “meeting of the waters” as would otherwise have ensued must have proved rather too much, even for the regular customers.

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Why is it impossible for a watch that indicates the smaller divisions of time ever to be new?—­Because it must always be a second-hand one.

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So decidedly does this animal belong to the Bimana order of beings, that to his two legs he is indebted for existence.  Most of his fellow bipeds live by the work of their hands, except indeed the feathered and tailor tribes, who live by their bills; but from his thighs, calves, ancles, and toes, does the opera-dancer derive subsistence for the less important portions of his anatomy.

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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