doing for them. How will they blush for their
ingratitude when they find that the following great
measures have been triumphantly carried through Parliament
by Sir Robert’s exertions—The VENTILATING
OF THE HOUSE BILL! Think of that, ye thin-gutted
weavers of Manchester. Drop down on your marrow-bones,
and bless the man who gives your representatives fresh
air—though he denies you—a mouthful
of coarse food. Then look at his next immense
boon—The ROYAL KITCHEN-GARDEN BILL!
What matters it that the gaunt fiend Famine sits at
your board, when you can console yourselves with the
reflection that cucumbers and asparagus will be abundant
in the Royal Kitchen Garden! But Sir Robert does
not stop here. What follows next?—The
FOREIGN BISHOPS’ BILL! See how our spiritual
wants are cared for by your tender-hearted Tories—they
shudder at the thoughts of Englishmen being fed on
foreign corn; but they give them instead, a full supply
of Foreign Bishops. After that comes—The
REPORT OF THE LUNATICS’ BILL. This important
document has been founded on the proceedings in the
Upper House, and is likely to be of vast service to
the nation at large. Next follows the EXPIRING
LAWS’ BILL! We imagine that a slight error
has been made in the title of this bill, and that
it should be read “Expiring Justice
As to expiring laws—’tis all a fallacy.
One of the glorious privileges of the English Constitution
is, that the laws never expire—neither
do the lawyers—they are everlasting.
Justice may die in this happy land, but law—never!
Again, there is a little grant of some thousands for
Prince Albert’s stables and dog-kennels!
Very proper too; these animals must be lodged, ay,
and fed; and the people—the creatures whom
God made after his own image—the poor wretches
who want nothing but a little bread, will lie down
hungry and thankful, when they reflect that the royal
dogs and horses are in the best possible condition.
But we have not yet mentioned the great crowning work
of Ministers—the Queen’s speech on
the Prorogation of the Parliament last week.
What an admirable illustration it was of that profound
logical deduction—that, out of nothing comes
nothing! Yet it was deduction—that,
out of nothing comes nothing! Yet it was not altogether
without design, and though some sneering critics have
called the old song—the burthen of it was
[Illustration: DOWN WITH YOUR DUST.]
* * * *
SO MUCH FOR BUCKINGHAM!
MR. SILK BUCKINGHAM being unmercifully reproached
by his unhappy publisher upon the dreadful weight
of his recent work on America, fortunately espied
the youngest son of the enraged and disappointed vendor
of volumes actually flying a kite formed of a portion
of the first volume. “Heavy,” retorted
Silk, “nonsense, sir. Look there! so volatile
and exciting is that masterly production, that it
has even made that youthful scion of an obdurate line,
spite my teetotal feelings,