Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.
L  s.   d. 
First Class, leg  ............................................  1  11   6
Second ditto ditto  ..........................................  1   7   9
First class, arm  ............................................  1   0   0
Second ditto ditto  ..........................................  0  14   3
First Class, bridge of nose (very common with cuts from glass)  0   8   9
Second ditto ditto (common with contusions from wooden frames)  0   6   4
First Class, teeth each  .....................................  0   0   9
Whole set  ...................................................  1   1   0
Second Class, ditto  .........................................  0   0   4-3/4
Whole set.....................................................  0  12   2
Necks, where the parties do not carry engraved cards with
name and address, First Class.............................  5   5   0
Second ditto..................................................  3   3   4

In all cases where the above sums are received in advance, the Company pledge themselves to allow a handsome discount for cuts, scratches, contusions, &c., &c.

All sums insured for to be paid six months after the death or recovery of the individual.

A contract may be entered into for wooden legs, glass eyes, strapping, bandages, splints, and sticking-plaister.

Several enterprising young men as guards, stokers, engineers, experimental tripists, and surgeons, wanted for immediate consumption.

Apply for qualifications and appointments, to the Branch Office, at the New Highgate Cemetery.

* * * * *

NOTHING NEW.

  The Tories are, truly, Conservative elves,
  For every one knows they take care of themselves.

* * * * *

SCHOOL OF DESIGN.

The public will be delighted to learn, there can be no doubt, as to the elegant acquirements of the various attaches of the new Tory premier.  The peculiar avidity with which they one and all appear determined to secure the salaries for their various suppositionary services, must convince the most sceptical that they have carefully studied the art of drawing.

* * * * *

THE LABOURS OF THE SESSION.

None but Ministers know what Ministers go through for the pure love of their country; no person who has not reposed in the luxuriously-cushioned chairs of the Treasury or Downing-street can conceive the amount of business Sir Robert and his colleagues have transacted during the three months they have been in office.  The people, we know, have been crying for bread—­the manufacturers are starving—­but their rebellious appetites will be appeased—­their refractory stomachs will feel comforted, when they are told all that their friends the Tories have been

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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