Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.

Here the gallant Colonel sat down, overcome by his feelings and several glasses of Betts’ best British brandy.

Song—­“Goosey, goosey gander.”

Mr. D’ISRAELI then rose, and said,—­“Chair, and brethren of the quill, I feel, in assuming the perpendicular, like the sun when sinking into his emerald bed of western waters.  Overcome by emotions mighty as the impalpable beams of the harmonious moon’s declining light, and forcibly impressed as the trembling oak, girt with the invisible arms of the gentle loving zephyr; the blush mantles on my cheek, deep as the unfathomed depths of the azure ocean.  I say, gentlemen, impressed as I am with a sense—­with a sense, I say, with a sense—­” Here the hon. gentleman sat down for want of a termination.

Song—­“No more shall the children of Judah sing.”

Mr. PETER BORTHWICK (having corked himself a handsome pair of mustachios), next rose, and said,—­“Most potent, grave, and reverend signors, and Mr. Chairman,—­if it were done, when ’tis done, then ’twere well it were done quickly’—­in rising to drink—­’my custom always of an afternoon’—­the health of Sir Peter Laurie, and whom I can ask, in the language of the immortal bard, ‘where gottest thou that goose look,’ I can only say, ’had Heaven made me such another,’ I would not”—­ Then Peter Borthwick sat down, evidently indisposed, exclaiming—­“The drink, Hamlet, the drink!!!”

Here our reporter left the meeting, who were vociferously chanting, by way of grace, previous to the attack on the “roast geese,” the characteristic anthem of the “King of the Cannibal Islands.”

* * * * *

DYER IGNORANCE.

It has been rumoured that Mr. Bernal, the new member, has been for some weeks past suffering from a severe attack of scarlet fever, caused by his late unparliamentary conduct in addressing the assembled legislators as—­gentlemen.  We are credibly informed that this unprecedented piece of ignorance has had the effect, as Shakspere says, of

[Illustration:  “MAKING THE GREEN ONE RED.”—­Macbeth.]

* * * * *

MAKING A COMPOSITION WITH ONE’S ANCESTORS.

Roebuck, the ex-attorney, and member for Bath, who has evinced a most commendable love of his parents, from his great-grandfather upwards, seeing the utter impossibility of carrying through the “whole hog” conviction of their respectability, and finding himself in rather an awkward “fix,” on the present occasion begs to inform the editor of the Times, that he will be most happy to accept a compromise, on their literary and scientific attainments, at the very reasonable rate of

[Illustration:  SIX-AND-EIGHTPENCE IN THE POUND.]

* * * * *

PUNCH’S HISTRIONIC READINGS IN HISTORY.

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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